Strap in as we pull back the curtain on the wedding and event industry, offering a raw and honest look at the personal impact and challenges that come with this demanding career. Ever wondered why we're often absent from social gatherings and family milestones? It all boils down to our commitment to our clients and the events we've been tasked to organize. But, fret not, we're here to share some insights on how to maintain a balance between work and personal life, and also, how to explain our absence to our loved ones.
Parenting and planning - two roles that can be incredibly demanding. Add to that the guilt of missing out on quality time with your kids due to work commitments, it's a tough balancing act. But, we believe it can be done. We delve into our own experiences and offer advice on leaning on your support system, setting boundaries, and giving yourself a well-deserved break when things get overwhelming. Remember, it's all about the harmony between work and family, and we're here to help you strike that balance.
We wrap up our discussion with an exploration of the importance of flexibility. The event industry may be unforgiving, but it's crucial that we're running the show and not the other way around - a lesson we've learned the hard way. We also touch upon the Certified Wedding Planner Society, shedding light on the opportunities it offers to both industry veterans and newcomers. So join us, as we navigate this challenging yet rewarding career, one event at a time.
www.cwpsociety.com | info@cwpsociety.com | IG: @cwpsociety | FB: @cwpsociety
Strap in as we pull back the curtain on the wedding and event industry, offering a raw and honest look at the personal impact and challenges that come with this demanding career. Ever wondered why we're often absent from social gatherings and family milestones? It all boils down to our commitment to our clients and the events we've been tasked to organize. But, fret not, we're here to share some insights on how to maintain a balance between work and personal life, and also, how to explain our absence to our loved ones.
Parenting and planning - two roles that can be incredibly demanding. Add to that the guilt of missing out on quality time with your kids due to work commitments, it's a tough balancing act. But, we believe it can be done. We delve into our own experiences and offer advice on leaning on your support system, setting boundaries, and giving yourself a well-deserved break when things get overwhelming. Remember, it's all about the harmony between work and family, and we're here to help you strike that balance.
We wrap up our discussion with an exploration of the importance of flexibility. The event industry may be unforgiving, but it's crucial that we're running the show and not the other way around - a lesson we've learned the hard way. We also touch upon the Certified Wedding Planner Society, shedding light on the opportunities it offers to both industry veterans and newcomers. So join us, as we navigate this challenging yet rewarding career, one event at a time.
www.cwpsociety.com | info@cwpsociety.com | IG: @cwpsociety | FB: @cwpsociety
Welcome to the Wedding Planner podcast, brought to you by the Certified Wedding Planner Society. Welcome to the Wedding Planner podcast. This is our soulmate series and it's brought to you by the Certified Wedding Planner Society. We're the world's leading wedding planner certification program and the world's largest membership of certified wedding planners. My name is Lori Hartwell and I'm the founder and CEO of the Certified Wedding Planner Society, and my co-host for the soulmate series is my husband and the president of the CWP Society, phillip Hartwell. Hey Phil, hey Lori.
Speaker 2:And hello everyone. Today we're going to be talking about how the wedding and event industry impacts our personal life, so let's dive right in.
Speaker 1:All right. Well, the first thing that kind of comes to mind is just general family events like reunions, funerals, weddings, birthday parties, anniversary parties, graduations and things of that nature, and a lot of times our families and friends don't really understand why we, as event industry professionals, cannot attend all of those types of events, and I think it's really important that we help explain to our families and friends what our process looks like. So first, we are being contracted with couples and our clients anywhere from six months out to a year and a half out from any given date. So that means that if we have a full load of wedding clients, that means that any events that are being planned right now by our friends and family, we may not be able to attend them because we might already be booked for that date, and I find that we get a lot of pushback.
Speaker 2:It's true and if you think about it, most people have nine to five, so when they're going to plan a family event, they've planned it for the weekend.
Speaker 1:They plan for the weekend and it's not going to be probably two years in advance. They're probably planning it within the next year or so, right? Well, I really feel like it is up to us as event professionals to say please understand where my job lays, and I hate having to miss reunions and funerals and our nieces and nephews' weddings and their birthday parties, but it's our job to try to help explain to them why that is. We have a contract with a client. We can't breach that contract because we want to go someplace else. We have to make sure that we're fulfilling that contract, otherwise we could be taken to court. So I feel like we're always being placed in a really bad position and we miss out on so many fun and wonderful events, and so that I think that's a huge impact on how the wedding and event industry really takes a little bit of a toll on our personal lives.
Speaker 2:In general the hospitality industry. Anyone in the tourism, hospitality, hotel, events, people just don't realize how much time that career takes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, if any professional works as a catering manager at a hotel or a country club, they're working anywhere from like 8 o'clock in the morning to sometimes 7, 8 o'clock at night. If they have events over the weekend, whether it's corporate or wedding, they're going to be working Fridays, they're going to be working Saturdays, and many times they'll also be working Sundays, and so we miss out on a lot and it does create a lot of tension, I think, within families.
Speaker 2:It adds a good and a bad. When you're spending that much time with your coworkers and your other vendors and professionals you're working with, and your clients, you do really build a.
Speaker 1:Develop like a camaraderie. Yeah, it's a bond.
Speaker 2:I remember working in the hotel industry way back in the 80s and it was a bond that you build because you're spending so much time together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you built a lot of forever friendships. I really did.
Speaker 2:People I'm still friends with to this day. But it also puts a strain as you become, as you partner up with someone else and then eventually build a family.
Speaker 1:Especially if your partner is not in the events industry and they're just trying to live their life and they see things from their perspective. They're like listen, I work Monday through Friday, nine to five. Why are you gone so much? You're missing all of these events. But my family has you know, they want to do Memorial Day and you're like well, I've got a wedding on Memorial Day weekend, and so some wedding planners, especially in the beginning of their careers, are also booking themselves on Thanksgiving weekend. They're booking themselves right up to Christmas. They are overloading themselves.
Speaker 2:But you don't want to say no, right, you don't want to say no, I do now.
Speaker 1:Like this is.
Speaker 1:I love the word no now, but, yeah, in the beginning you don't really say no a lot, and so I find that it really does have a very negative impact on the personal life of the wedding planner as well as whoever that wedding planner soulmate is, and so it can really cause a lot of negative situations.
Speaker 1:So, in order to try to avoid any of those negative connotations and those negative feelings, it's probably better to go ahead and explain to your soulmate and your family, as well as your friends, what the situation is. And you know, I know, that my vice president, chrissy Thomas, many times has these yearly girl weekends with all of her best friends from college, and what she tells them is book that as far in advance as you possibly can, and I'll get that on the books now, and that way I won't book any weddings or other events on that same weekend, and so we have to book out pretty far. So we have to train our friends and family to go ahead and plan whatever events they want about a year and a half or more out, so that we can ensure that we can attend.
Speaker 2:Nothing wrong with that yeah, love it.
Speaker 1:And another way that the wedding and event industry can impact our personal lives is if and when we ever decide to become parents, and there are different phases of parenting. There's the baby and toddler stage, there's the elementary school age, the middle school age, the high school age and then the empty nest age, and you and I have actually experienced all of those stages and I remember having to pivot and adjust as we went through, and I think that that's just some of the advice that I wanna make sure that we are passing along to maybe some people who are thinking okay, I'm ready to start a family, what do I need to be thinking about? And so let me kind of start there. If you are going to start that family and you find out that you're pregnant, what I want you to do is look at your event schedule and see what weddings and events you have booked around that nine month period. Here's a couple of suggestions. About a month prior to your due date, you're gonna want to have some backup plans for all the events that you have scheduled within that month leading up to the due date. Why? Because babies sometimes come early, maybe you have to be on bed rest, for whatever reason, and because there are so many unexpected situations that could arise, you really should have a backup plan, whether that means that you need to transfer those weddings to a different planner or at least have a different planner on standby in case something does come up.
Speaker 1:Then you need to make sure that you are looking at all of the weddings and events that you have booked from your due date to two months after the due date.
Speaker 1:You're gonna want to be able to be home and care for the new baby and give whatever attention you need to give to yourself so you could recover, as well as to the new family and getting everyone acclimated. So a lot of wedding planners are asking us those questions all the time of you know, what do I do with those weddings that I already have booked? Well, it's the same kind of thing. You're gonna want to either transfer those weddings to other wedding planners on your team or you need to reach out to some of your fellow competitors and see if they would be willing and able to take those weddings either under the umbrella of your company or maybe transfer them to their company. Either way, you do need to make some hard decisions. It's not easy. It's one of those situations where you just have to make, do and make it happen. And so you know, that's that planning stage of I'm just gonna have a family, and now what?
Speaker 2:right. I love it how planners try to plan things like this, but they're so raw you have to.
Speaker 1:You know it's sad, but we have to do that because we don't want to. We want to make sure that we are respecting the clients who have signed with us. This is their big day too. They have a big event coming up, but I don't think our clients want to have a woman going into labor at their wedding. I sure wouldn't. No, I don't think that, cause now it's about us, right? It's not about the couple anymore.
Speaker 2:But I think the important thing to remember is you can plan for it, but of course things happen in whatever timeframe they're gonna happen, and so keep open, or understand the idea that you need to be flexible and kind of think on the fly.
Speaker 1:You need to make sure that you have those backup plans. Go ahead and have a strategy in your mind of how you're gonna handle things if and when a situation does arise there you go. And then the baby comes right and you're ready to maybe jump back into work. We have to really think about now how much time do I want to be away from the family? So in the baby stage, you know when your child is sleeping. Because you're recovering, you're probably wanting to take a nap too.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And you love your naps, even now, and you don't even have a baby at home.
Speaker 2:That was my favorite part, because when you were at work. I was at home it's not the moment taking a nap at work.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, anyway, I think it's just important to remind moms that it's okay to make sure that you're not rushing back into the process. Make sure that you're taking care of yourself, and if you want to start dabbling back into the business and start returning those emails and taking on new clients, conducting more initial consultations, you're more than welcome to do so after you've had time to kind of recover and get yourself back to feeling like yourself again.
Speaker 2:I think what you're saying is work yourself in slowly. Slow, don't just dive right in 100%.
Speaker 1:Exactly so. After the baby and toddler stage, then they go into elementary school. They kind of start their preschool when kindergarten, first through sixth grade. Sometimes it's first through fifth grade. It just depends on the counting which our children are going to school in.
Speaker 1:But I loved that stage. It was a fun stage and it allowed me because usually in that kind of age group there's not a ton of after school activities and things of that nature, so I didn't feel like I was missing out on as much. I was able to drop off our child at school and pick our child up from school and just be involved. Now what I did start missing was our weekend time.
Speaker 1:I had weddings and so a lot of times where wedding planners get a little bit in the weeds is when they feel like they are missing out on all of their family time, their child time, on the weekends because our children aren't in school on the weekends. We're gone on Fridays, Friday nights because of rehearsals and sometimes even longer because of rehearsal dinners, if we're coordinating that, and then on Saturdays we have to leave pretty early in the morning, go set up for our weddings. On Saturdays we're not home until sometimes after midnight in a lot of cases. And then we are zombies on Sundays because we have what's called a wedding planner hangover. So what I'm finding is that moms feel a lot of guilt.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can see how you feel guilty about that. I don't know that you should feel guilty about that, though. I mean, think about it. I don't feel guilty. When I was working nine to five, I didn't feel guilty leaving the house. I was having a smile on my face, got my car drove to work and happy as a clam, yeah.
Speaker 1:But maybe you felt that way because your daughter was at school or what have you, I don't know. Or maybe it's a society situation where, for a lot of times, women especially sometimes feel guilty because we were kind of expected for the longest time in history to if you have a child, your duty is to stay at home and to not be distracted or work, and today's mom is usually trying to juggle both things.
Speaker 1:And that can be very, very challenging and we're always feeling split. I think any good parent, whether you're a mom or a dad. I think it's just important to make sure that you are striking some sort of balance in your life and giving yourself some grace. And I have moms asking me all the time. I love to work, I'm absolutely in love with being a wedding planner, but I have a young child at home and I feel guilty and what I try to explain to them is that is so normal, that is such a normal feeling. But you need to ask yourself if I'm happy working and I'm happy being a mom. You know life is pretty short. We should do what fulfills us. If being a stay-at-home mom would not give you the fulfillment that a job would give you, then, yeah, you should probably focus as well on the job, as much on the job as you do your family. We just have to find what balance works for the family and everybody's in different situations.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's really no right or wrong to it, there's just not. And I would say, if you're feeling like things are out of balance, then ask for help, whether that's from your significant other, your soulmate, your husband, your wife, whoever, your boyfriend, girlfriend, whoever you're with. Ask for help, but also ask for help from your extended family, If you need. You know the grandparents to watch your kid. They are most. Grandparents are more than happy to watch their grandkids anytime you let them.
Speaker 1:That's true, and you just want to make sure, too, that you're checking in with your significant other, your soulmate, to find out like, okay, do you feel like I'm gone too much? Do you in check in with the kids? Do you feel like I'm working too much? Because, honestly, it's always good to have like a family meeting every once in a while. Just check in and it doesn't have to be like an official meeting where everybody sits down or like at a board meeting around the dining room table, but just ask the children privately every once in a while so you know if you could get anything you want from mommy not presents or anything but time. Do you feel like you're getting enough time with me? Do you do feel like I'm giving you enough? Now, the truth is, most kids are going to say that there's never enough.
Speaker 1:Never enough, but I want you to feel free to ask. It's absolutely okay and most of the time your significant other will be able to tell you. So that I remember, when we got into that elementary school stage, I also homeschooled from kindergarten through the end of our daughter's third grade year, and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I was also planning events during that time, so there was a lot extra to juggle, not just being a mom, but now being a mom who homeschooled and a mom who had a career and so, and being a wife and a mother I mean a daughter and a friend and all that. There's a lot to juggle there. So the way I pivoted was I decided how many weddings I wanted to take per month, and I wanted a specific amount of weekends that I could devote just to my family, and then a certain amount of weekends that I was willing to be away and do weddings.
Speaker 2:But it's hard to say no, isn't it? To a client? If you feel like you're overbooked for a certain month, it's pretty tough to say no.
Speaker 1:I think it is in the beginning of the career. It's not so much tough after you've been in the industry for a significant amount of time. I would say, probably in the first five years. Yeah, it is tough, tough, tough to say no. You feel obligated to say yes. But I think as you age and as maturity kind of takes hold, you realize that you do not and cannot be everything to everyone and be in every place at every second of the day. So you have to make really tough decisions. My decision was, even though I love planning weddings and I love my job, I love my family more and I made a decision that they deserved my time just as much as my clients deserved my time. So I only took two weddings every single month and I used to take weddings on holidays. Do you remember when I used to take weddings on my Way back, yeah, very far back in time, hiding Christmas, new Years, you know you named the holiday. I worked the holiday.
Speaker 2:I'm not sure why anybody would want to. Well, I guess I know why people want to schedule one around the holiday.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because all of their families in town and this is like the perfect way to celebrate. And so I get it. It's just that I had to make a decision, and now that happened a little bit later. Right, you know, I started with step one. I only want to take two weddings a month, right? Step two, which happened years later, was I no longer want to work the entire month of December because I found that I completely missed Christmas.
Speaker 2:We did that didn't happen a couple of years. Yeah, where in the world did it go? What?
Speaker 1:happened Like I completely missed the season and I never. I stopped taking weddings on Thanksgiving because I really just wanted to enjoy. I wanted to be present in that moment and not feel like I have to take texts and check emails on a Thanksgiving week situation. So it's just, you know, you have to make those hard decisions and the last holiday wedding that I took was our largest event that we've ever had, which was on a New Year's event. It was the largest holiday event that we had ever done and I think that did it for me. Never again, never.
Speaker 1:So it was just one of those things you just realized and you go ah, you know what? No longer, that's not going to, that's no longer serving me, it's no longer serving my family. So you have to learn how to pivot and adjust whatever it is that you're doing for your family to make sure that it's working for everybody. So that was that elementary school age and you know you move then into the middle school and high school age. Your children at that age require a little bit more. There's a little bit more attention. They're going through completely different things than they went through in elementary school. I felt what I needed to do is be a lot more present is at least like during the week. I wanted to make sure that I did not overbook myself. I always arranged my hours to be working when she was in school. So you know we dropped her off at middle and high school around eight o'clock in the morning. I went and picked her up around three, three, 30 every day. You were pretty much done working.
Speaker 1:I had to I had to because I wanted to make sure that I could listen to all of our daughters stories after school and not make her feel rushed. But I also wanted to be there in case she needed some assistance with homework or whatever it was that was going on in her life, and so there was definitely another pivot, another adjustment there. But it's really about, I think, the wedding planner and their soulmate to say, okay, so what are our family needs now? And you have to re-look at that and kind of reassess all of that.
Speaker 2:Probably what Well, I'd say at least. Well, maybe not every year, in our case, the way I've observed it every three or four years, things kind of change you know, especially when you're raising children. Things kind of adjust and I think some people may say every three weeks that happens. But yeah, that's the consistent thing is that things always change, so you gotta be on your toes.
Speaker 2:You have to be flexible, be willing to to pivot if that's what needs to happen but I also think you need to be willing to give your partner grace and forgiveness to, and Yourself grace and forgiveness, because none of us are perfect absolutely Perfection one yeah especially at parenting especially at parenting.
Speaker 1:Yes, I agree I I probably screwed up way more than I ever even realized, you and everyone else who's ever parented.
Speaker 2:So, yes, yes, of course you did, but the the thing is that you know you, you learn when you, when you do something. That's not ideal. Yeah, hopefully we learn from our mistakes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so our, our advice, feeling nice advice, would be to make sure that you're not too hard on yourself, that you know how to have those conversations, listen to each other and and try to anticipate what might be coming down the pike, so that you can maybe Make those adjustments a little bit in a more smoother type of way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and understand it's gonna be an adjustment. Like everything's important, parenting's important, your kids are important, your home, your Family, your spouse, your career, your friends, your parents, your grandparents, your grandchildren in some cases for some of you.
Speaker 1:So it's all important but it's all about being out of balance so balance is the key, making sure that we are Keeping everything just at the forefront of our minds and asking questions, checking in with each other, checking in with yourself.
Speaker 1:That's a really big thing, and you know high schoolers, you know when that teenage stage, that is a very, very difficult stage to go through for both the child as Well as the parent, because imagine what the child is going through right there. Their hormones are all over the place. They are angry when they don't even number one realize they're angry. Sometimes they're angry and they Don't know why they're angry. It can be a whole thing and we, as parents, don't always know how to navigate all of that going on in high school, that's for sure.
Speaker 1:It is tough. I remember how tough it was when I was in high school and it can just be a very, very tough time period, but it's tough for everybody. So, as a wedding and event planner and you know, you and I were both in the event industry it it is something like if you're gone all the time, that isn't always going to benefit the child on whatever it is that they're going through. So make sure that you, if you are going to be taking a lot of events Each month, what support system do you have in place for the kiddos, in case they need someone on the spot?
Speaker 1:I lot of times that could be grandparents, it could be godparents, it could be Just wonderful friends that are nearby, but having and building a village so that we can support the child as much as possible. But it always keeps coming back to. I Am contracted legally to attend these events, to put on them all together and I can't drop things at the very last second, and so that puts a mom or a dad in a very precarious situation when you do have children of a certain age well, of any age. But it can really be quite scary and a little bit uneasy.
Speaker 2:It is, and though you mentioned the weekends, now we weren't booked every single weekend, but you're right, and many weekends, two weekends a month was my rule. But the nice thing about the of being an independent wedding or event planner Is at least your home during the week, you know. If you're there, at least us see them every day when they get out of school, at whatever age they are. That's an important thing for kids, to have that kind of thing. If you're able to do that, so if you're able to see not every wedding planner is able to do that.
Speaker 1:I think it's our job to make sure that we are looking at the child's schedule and Arranging our events in our life around the child's schedule, as much as we possibly can. Talk to your soulmate, find out what their schedule looks like. How can we balance each other out with all of this? How can we support each other to make sure that the child or children are a hundred percent Taking care of, at whatever time period? That it is now, because we are booked so much in advance, we can plan in advance, and so it is so important to make sure that you've got like a master family calendar, a master Wedding calendar, and that way you can compare the two. You'll know, too, what's going on at school, what types of events are coming up, when is the Christmas chorus, when is the Football games if your child is a cheerleader or a football player, like you'll know when what other events are kind of coming up, and you can make some small Adjustments to try to accommodate everybody. But there are going to be time, for you can't accommodate anyone except for the client who paid you thousands of dollars and you have a legally binding document that says that you have to be there. So, again, give yourself some grace.
Speaker 1:Hmm, this is the, the job in the career that we are, we're in, we have to accept the pros as well as the cons that come along with that. Now, not to mention and this is always a, this is an important little aspect here being a wedding and event planner. I don't know if you know this. It's rated number three of the most stressful jobs in the world. It used to be prior to now used to be rated number five at the most stressful jobs in America. It has been upgraded to the third most stressful job in the entire world. So if you are already in one of the most stressful jobs in the world and you are trying to Please Everybody, you know we're trying to be the very best possible parent, the very best possible soulmate, the very best possible Child to our parents, the very best possible friend to all of our friends and Cousin and what have you? All the different hats that we wear? Because it's so stressful, we're probably going to feel like we're failing someone at some time sounds a bit impossible to me.
Speaker 2:Well, it is.
Speaker 1:I'll be honest, I feel like I lived an impossible life For the longest time, and I think I felt that way because I never gave myself the grace that I deserved to have.
Speaker 2:You know, we all, especially you, event and wedding planners deserve grace. Yeah, for sure, I can totally see how that's in the top three.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean it's a lot, there's a lot going on and maybe part of that stress I wonder if this is how they analyze it is how much stress it actually can put on our Families well, I was gonna ask you which why you think it it's that way, and I think it's also that your clients are paying you a lot of money and so they're there.
Speaker 2:Expectation. Yeah, I'm paying you thousands of dollars.
Speaker 1:Everything better be perfect or you better be at my back and call. If I call you, you better pick up, and that's why I think it's really great to put boundaries in place. Right when a couple hires you, right, I let them know. These are my office hours. Also, if you would like to talk to me, you know whether it's in within my office hours or not. If you have an appointment, you have to book those appointments with me in advance.
Speaker 1:You cannot just call me out of the blue, because if I'm in the middle of a meeting, I can't just drop everything and every one, just like I wouldn't do that if I was in the middle of a meeting with you. And so usually when I explain it to them like that, they're like oh yeah, I mean, I completely understand, but you have to put those boundaries and policies out there so that we can try to avoid some of those pitfalls. But yeah, I think that's part of it. I don't think that wedding planners in the beginning Feel comfortable putting those boundaries well, it makes sense in every other industry, right?
Speaker 2:I can't just pick up the phone and call my doctor anytime and you also pick up the phone, no, you?
Speaker 1:also can't just stop into their office on a Sunday at 2 o'clock because it's gonna be locked right like you can't just show up. And that's what we have to explain to our couples and any of the clients that hire us is these are our office hours, and Even a lot of wedding planners have a policy in place that says you can't text me unless it's a week of your wedding. I like the no text policy completely, like don't text me the end, unless there is an emergency. For instance, you are on fire, or your dress is currently on fire, or your venue is currently on fire and you are freaking out. Those are the only times I want to hear from someone via text. Otherwise, you can send me an email and 24 hours can go by. Did you guys break up, you know?
Speaker 2:it's your fiance missing.
Speaker 1:There are. There are actual emergencies. And then there's what our clients sometimes perceive as an emergency, and you know, losing your, you know, hair clip. This is not going to constitute as a an emergency. In my book, or if you're made of honor, made you cry, that is not an emergency, so you might have to join the club yeah yeah, right, you might have to just, you know, lay some of that out there.
Speaker 1:But so after high school You've got a lot of times. The child then moves out and they either go off to college or they just move out with their friends and strike their career, and then the wedding planner becomes an empty nester and.
Speaker 1:I am now an empty nester and it is so reminiscent, like I feel like I just been thrown back in time to pre family and I'll be honest, it does take a bit of an adjustment. After your children move out, you're like okay, I don't know what to do with myself or my time. How do I feel I'm so used to like let me check in on you know? And then all of a sudden, like now there's no one I can go check in on well, you can check in on me anytime.
Speaker 1:You and I are with each other 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I don't really have to check in. All I have to do is look down the hall.
Speaker 2:Well, you could check if I need a snack or something. Yes, I'll do that.
Speaker 1:I'll do that the second that you check on me and ask me if I want a brown.
Speaker 2:But yeah, it's an adjustment and it just tells you how life just kind of goes full circle and no matter what challenge you're in in the current moment. It's kind of like that what they say about the weather in Florida if you don't like the weather, just wait. It'll wait a few minutes.
Speaker 2:It'll change yeah and it really is how it's gone. How I've seen our career go is when things are challenging in the wedding and events industry. You know, just wait and just keep moving and things. Things do change and Everyone has challenges and everyone struggles with that kind of thing. You were talking about the guilt of being away from your kid.
Speaker 2:But it's awful, that guilt is awful, it's awful, I'm sure, but it's not out of the ordinary and it's not rare. It's very common in this industry and it's something you shouldn't feel guilty about. It's something you should Be aware of and make sure your life has balance. Your child is just as important, as you know, as your career and your friends and family and everybody else. It's just all about balance, it's fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I really feel like we struck a pretty decent balance there and I feel like we we did everything we possibly could to ensure that we just were doing our best.
Speaker 1:Oh and and sometimes what parents are gonna find if. If you are either a parent right now or you are looking to become a parent, what you're going to realize that there are gonna be time for you realize your best Just isn't good enough but to make sure that you give yourself grace and give yourself some forgiveness, because there is no such Thing as a perfect parent. There's no such thing as a perfect wedding planner. There's no such thing as a perfect person. You're not going to be able to achieve perfection, but what you can achieve is your best, just doing your best at the time, at whatever situation you find yourself in yeah yeah, it's a hard.
Speaker 1:it's hard, though, isn't it? It's hard being Trying to be everything to everyone all the time.
Speaker 2:Well, I try to be the perfect husband, and I know that I'm very, very close.
Speaker 1:I love you so much. You're such a silly, silly.
Speaker 2:I know how close I've come, but no, you try to be the perfect spouse, right and right, and parent and everything else, but you, you can't avoid disappointing people, someone at some point. Yeah, so you're gonna disappoint someone, yeah but as long as, in my case, I what the way I see it is I know I'm trying my best to do the right thing, that's it. And if, if I know I'm doing the right thing, that's it, then I can't go wrong, that's it.
Speaker 1:I mean, because what isn't that all we can control? Right is, whatever situation we're in in the present moment. So strike, try and stay present, right? Whatever you're, whatever moment you're in which is only right now. Yeah, we can only give our very best, and I don't like having regrets.
Speaker 1:I I have a couple, but everyone does, of course you're right, Everybody has regrets and Things that they would have wished they had done a little bit differently. But what I think is important is I know my intentions, I know my heart and I always wanted to make sure I put my whole heart into literally everything I would do and I try to pour love on as many people as I possibly could be there for as many people as I could, and so I know I did my best. That's got to be enough for ourselves, even if it wasn't enough for other people.
Speaker 2:True, true, and that goes for clients a lot of times.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:I know it's very rare, but there are a few clients through the years I can remember who were disappointed in something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll give you an example there was, do you remember that one mother of the bride that called me the day after the wedding and she said Lori, you know, the wedding was beautiful, everything was so, so wonderful. I only wanted to talk to you about two complaints that I had, two things I wish would have gone differently. You're cracking up and of course I was like, oh my gosh, absolutely Tell me what's going on. And the first thing do you remember the first thing that she said to me?
Speaker 2:Something about feet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she said you didn't offer to massage my daughter's feet at the reception. And I said yeah, you know why? Because that's actually not a service that you paid for, nor is it a service that I offer. So that may be why that that, like it was just so funny.
Speaker 2:But you didn't shampoo her hair either. No, I didn't. Those are two things.
Speaker 1:I did not bring the spa right. Like like, what are you talking about? Nonsense.
Speaker 1:Well and it's just an interesting thing. Her other complaint was that I didn't offer to bring a separate pair of shoes for her daughter and I said when would I have gotten her shoes? Apparently, the feet situation was a very important thing. She just failed to tell me that feet were important to them at the time. And this is a woman that I went into the bathroom with. You know, like not the mom, but the bride I held. I was in the stall Winning planners. I know for a lot of times the soulmates are like I'm sorry, you were in the stall with your client. Yeah, holding up the wedding gown hovering over the bride, as she's doing all kinds like it's not just a number one Sometimes it's other numbers.
Speaker 2:I really wish facial expressions were able to be seen through podcasts right now because, that's ridiculous. No, I mean, we're there to help.
Speaker 1:We're just so. Here's. That's the problem is like I'm like. So you're telling me that so the wedding was perfect. You also appreciated that I literally held your daughter over a toilet while she did business, but you're upset that in a bit, disappointed that I didn't offer to give her a massage and and magically come up with a second pair of shoes for her to wear. So I just find these are the kinds of things you cannot please everyone. I did my job masterfully that night.
Speaker 2:Right, maybe wedding planners should add to their form. So how do you feel about feet?
Speaker 1:Right, what's pretty stand.
Speaker 2:What's your view on Care care in general?
Speaker 1:Yeah, are you expecting me to give any massages? If so, I'm not the planner for you.
Speaker 2:These are questions that you can't please them all.
Speaker 1:You cannot please them all and you just have to understand these things. But you know, more of the story is there's going to be different stages in your life as a wedding and event planner, and, whether you decide to have kids or not have children, you're going to need to figure out ways to pivot and adjust according to whatever is going on in your life at the time, and so make sure that you're open to that kind of flexibility. Make sure that your business is working for you rather than you working for the business. I really want to make sure that you're running the show and not have the show run you. That is such a big life lesson that I learned, probably a little bit too late, a little later than I would have wished I had learned it, but this is why I'm a teacher now. Right, this is why I try to mentor wedding planners is to kind of give them some of those tips that I wished I would have had when I was a younger planner.
Speaker 2:I love it. So what I'm hearing you say is plan your whole life, as well as you plan your clients weddings.
Speaker 1:I didn't think of it that way, but, phil, yes, I love it Absolutely. What a great way to end this show, and so thank you all for listening. I am so grateful that you tuned into the wedding planner podcast today. Now, if you're not yet a member of the Certified Wedding Planner Society, I would love to welcome you into our amazing and loving group. Simply go to our website for more information. You can find us at CertifiedWeddingPlanerSocietycom. That's CertifiedWeddingPlanerSocietycom, and you can learn more information on how to join. Have a great day, everyone.