What happens when wedding professionals fail to communicate effectively and misunderstand each other's roles? Listen to our heart-to-heart chat as we unpack this. We'll guide you through the challenging journey of collaboration and understanding among wedding professionals, highlighting the importance of having a professional's perspective and working with approved vendors.
In the final lap, we discuss the new FREE membership that the CWP Society now offers wedding professionals and how important it is that we explore the pivotal role of trust, collaboration, and understanding in creating a successful dream team on wedding days. Learn how professionals can work well together with more understanding, and collaboration. Don't miss the chance to learn about this loving family you can find with the CWP Society! Remember, it's not just about planning weddings, it's about creating unforgettable experiences and making every moment count, both for the couples and the professionals involved.
www.cwpsociety.com | info@cwpsociety.com | IG: @cwpsociety | FB: @cwpsociety
What happens when wedding professionals fail to communicate effectively and misunderstand each other's roles? Listen to our heart-to-heart chat as we unpack this. We'll guide you through the challenging journey of collaboration and understanding among wedding professionals, highlighting the importance of having a professional's perspective and working with approved vendors.
In the final lap, we discuss the new FREE membership that the CWP Society now offers wedding professionals and how important it is that we explore the pivotal role of trust, collaboration, and understanding in creating a successful dream team on wedding days. Learn how professionals can work well together with more understanding, and collaboration. Don't miss the chance to learn about this loving family you can find with the CWP Society! Remember, it's not just about planning weddings, it's about creating unforgettable experiences and making every moment count, both for the couples and the professionals involved.
www.cwpsociety.com | info@cwpsociety.com | IG: @cwpsociety | FB: @cwpsociety
Welcome to the Wedding Planner podcast brought to you by the Certified Wedding Planner Society. Welcome to the Wedding Planner podcast. This is our career support series and it's brought to you by the CWP Society. We are the world's leading wedding planner certification program and the world's largest membership of wedding professionals. My name is Lori Hartwell and I am the CEO of the CWP Society, and I'm joined by my fabulous vice president, chrissy Thomas, an owner of Southern Sparkle weddings.
Speaker 2:Hi Lori, and hi everyone who's listening this episode. We're going to be talking about collaboration with our favorite wedding professionals and how the CWP Society now has a free membership available, open to all wedding pros, not just wedding planners. Lori, tell us a little bit more about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm really excited about this because this has actually been a dream of mine for years and years and years. You know, as most of the people who know who I am know, I started planning weddings back in 1993 and I had a lot of experience just dealing with my dream team. Like these were my go-to people. I love my photographers and my entertainment providers and my florists and my bakers and we got close. I mean, we worked together so often and you know there were times where I had couples who said, well, is it okay if we use this person? And I checked them out. They had good reviews and hated working with them as a professional on a professional level behind the scenes, if you will. I realized that there are just some wedding professionals that don't always work well with others, and unfortunately, that was something that I started to see other wedding planners struggle with as well, and so it made me appreciate my favorites so much more, and so I would go out of my way to make sure that they knew how much I appreciated them and loved them, and how grateful I was that I didn't have to worry on wedding day you know about how things were going to go. I was just going to have great happy clients with great happy wedding pros and I was going to be a very happy wedding planner and all was just going to be.
Speaker 1:What with the world? You know, as I became an educator and the leader of this organization, I started hearing more and more planners tell me some really negative stories about how wedding pros, sometimes even venues, are treating them and may other, making them feel, and it's just, it kind of breaks my heart, and so it really came to a headwind pandemic hit in March or April of 2020. And we had to all pivot, we had to all change, and I feel like the pandemic really changed some people for the better and it changed some people for the worse, and so I was hearing wedding planners saying gosh, you know, listen, my wedding pros aren't returning emails anymore, they're not talking to us, they're not having the same level of communication that we had pre pandemic, then we did post pandemic and there's all this misunderstanding that that goes on, and so it was kind of then in there where I'm like, okay, we need to figure something else out, because I personally believe with all of my heart and all of my soul that if all of us wedding planners, djs, bands, photographers, wedding venues, officiants all of us right? If we all were able to see each other's perspectives and have a better understanding for what we all go through, then we can show up better for each other.
Speaker 1:So for years, I have been wanting to create a membership specifically for wedding professionals. Now they're going to be getting some really great information. We're going to conduct monthly wedding pro workshops, every single month, of course. They get a member badge. They get an e-newsletter that's going to be filled with tips on how to make sure that we're all collaborating together and being understood by others, so that we can get our needs met but also meet other people's needs, because, again, I feel like so many people play the me-me-me game instead of the us game. We need to make sure that we're pulling people together, and I'm very, very excited. So the way I kind of wanted to kick this off is maybe talk about what most wedding planners have been experiencing lately. So how about we start with how wedding planners sometimes feel misunderstood? What are you hearing? What are you feeling as far as people just not understanding that we have different levels of packages and that they don't really know what our motivations are. We're misunderstood a lot.
Speaker 2:Completely and I feel like sometimes the misunderstanding from wedding planners comes from maybe some of these wedding pros working with and I'm putting this on quotation other wedding planners who didn't have that training. And we talked about this during our last episode that we recorded about how, as wedding planners, you can wake up, read a wedding magazine and declare yourself I am a wedding planner and then take on a client. And if wedding pros are working with this type of wedding planner who hasn't had training, who is just, you know, going on the fly and not certified and getting that experience through weddings themselves and not trying to get some type of education, then they're running into situations with wedding planners who are overstepping, maybe they're not so friendly to work with and they're putting all of us in the same bubble, in the same category. Of all wedding planners are like this and that's just not the case. And I've seen that with venues, where venues are getting burned by really bad wedding planners and what they're doing is they're taking it out on every single other wedding planner. They're not taking the opportunity to get to know us as individuals and their lumpy gets all into the same category and it's not fair and I'm seeing that quite often.
Speaker 2:And then also you briefly mentioned how a lot of wedding pros don't understand that our services we don't just have one lane of services, that we have multiple packages and packages and levels of service where where we come into the planning process may be different. So let's say that a client hired us for just coordination, month of coordination or a bit management, where we're coming in maybe six to eight weeks before the wedding and they're expecting a planner, where with the planner we're going to be involved in all those meetings, we're going to be the single point of contact fairly early on. So they're misunderstood in that way also. So I think I think that that's where a lot of this comes from and I love that you mentioned earlier how we all just need to take a step back and look at what each one of us brings to the table. And I joke with my wedding planner friends, my wedding pros, where I'm like if clients could work one single wedding with every single vendor category, they would never question our pricing, they would totally see our worth, they'd understand it. How about we switch that up? As wedding pros? What if we put ourselves in the shoes of every single wedding professional? We would be able to see what they bring to the table, how much work they put in and have a better appreciation and understanding of what their role is in the wedding day.
Speaker 2:In reality, we can't do our jobs without each other. It's just not as we. As the planner, I can't create this beautiful design if I don't have my rentals and a venue and the forest, and all of us have to really weave together to make a wedding day happen. So we have to understand each other's roles and as a planner, we get the beautiful opportunity to wear. Since we're collaborating with all of the wedding pros, we get some type of insight as to what they do, how they do it and why they do it. But other wedding pros may not have that opportunity because they don't. They don't, you know when you think about it.
Speaker 2:Why would your florist communicate with the photographer? Why would your florist communicate with the baker, unless it's about putting the flowers on the cake? But for the most part, they're not going to see the insights of what they do in their job and because of that I think a lot of misunderstanding happens. And when there's misunderstanding within you know your industry and what you do then sometimes there is a lot of conflict because they're not understanding. Well, why do you have to be you know? Why do I have to set this up at this time? Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to do that instead of just coming together? I think if we just understood what we do, what we all bring to the table, it would help completely.
Speaker 1:And how we can help each other in more ways than one as well. Because when there's a really great dream team that's hired for any given wedding day, it feels different than when it's just random people thrown together. And that is the difference, too, between someone hiring a sort of wedding planner to plan the wedding. Usually there's no randomness at all because wedding planners are so strategic in how they are putting that team together. They know who worked well with one another, they know who has the right personalities, who doesn't step over the line and who can really just appreciate others in general. But when there's not a wedding planner hired, a lot of randomness happens and it can make everybody's lives miserable, especially when there's if we can put quotes around a wedding planner right now, like when it's the cousin or the friend that is now gonna be deemed the wedding planner or the coordinator. That honestly gives all of us professional wedding planners a really bad name. But I like to switch the tables a little bit. So what about those photographers as people that wake up one day and it's like listen, I don't like my current job and I already have a beautiful camera. Now I think I'm just gonna create a website and become a wedding photographer and I'm gonna book my first wedding show. Okay, so there's just as many of those kinds of pros. But here's the difference. Most wedding planners see that, but don't lump every single photographer in on that same category, like as someone who is just who woke up one day and just decided and listen.
Speaker 1:I don't have too much of a problem with people who want to get into the industry. I have a problem with people that don't educate themselves as they are entering a new industry. I have a problem with people who don't do all of their due diligence. I have a problem with people who don't communicate properly. I have a problem with people who don't listen to what other people's needs are, because we are not running a wedding all by ourselves. Right, there are anywhere from 15 to 25 wedding professionals hired for any given wedding. It is our job to make sure that this wedding is as seamless as it possibly can be. You can't really have that if you are working with professionals who are gonna be giving other professionals on that day pushback.
Speaker 1:Now, it doesn't matter who you're giving the pushback to. If the florist is giving pushback to the baker or the baker is giving pushback to the florist, those two are actually gonna have problems, because a lot of times we have flowers for the cake, so now we have a little bit of conflict there. I see videographers and photographers fighting all the time. I see photographers and DJs having conflict. I see venues having conflict with planners or coordinators. Why do we have to fight? Why can't we ask more questions and say okay, so I saw that you did it this way? Can you explain to me why you did that? Because let me tell you how it affected me and then maybe we can curb this problem for the future, so that we can both get what we need out of this situation. Why isn't there more communication? It's driving me nuts.
Speaker 2:No, that's literally. That was my thoughts completely was we're not communicating with each other. We are, instead of just like you said, having that conversation, asking questions. They're jumping to the gun and jumping straight to being offended. And why? Well, if you could just doesn't that just probably all be avoided if we just ask the right questions or communicate with each other?
Speaker 2:What my needs are and let's okay, let's compare to what your needs are, how can we meet somewhere in the middle to make sure that we all are able to do our job, and able to do our job well? And that is what's so fun about that dream team is it is it's like magic how it works because we've communicated, because we respect each other, we understand the roles that we are bringing to the table and we're allowing our teams to do their job, and it makes the day so smooth and so beautiful. And, like you said, those are the people that I want to work with, weekend after weekend, and if everyone understood this and understood this mentality, they would get more bookings. It would just be a win-win situation. If you were able to understand and communicate with your fellow wedding pros, everyone will be on the same page and it would just be this beautiful thing and like you said, and people don't really seem to understand how more enjoyable our jobs are when we are all respecting each other.
Speaker 1:Now I am very picky. I won't work with just anybody, right? That's why most certified wedding planners and master certified wedding planners have what you and I call the approved vendors list. We used to call it back in the olden days. That are preferred lists, but it is now a mandatory thing, like you have to if you're gonna hire me as your wedding planner.
Speaker 1:I will only work with people that I have vetted. I need to know a lot more about these people. I need to know that they're team players. I need to know that they are going to be really caring to my couples. I need to make sure that they are going to provide a really excellent service and that they're going to be considering all the other team players on the wedding day.
Speaker 1:I'm not gonna work with just some random human being or a random DJ. Just because you tell me, couple, that you only have $300 to spend on a DJ and you found one who has an iPod and a speaker. We are not doing this. Then I am not the planner for you, and so I feel like if all of us wedding professionals, so planners, djs, photographers, videographers and so forth. I think that if we all educated our couples and help them understand the importance, the why, then we're all going to be happier for it.
Speaker 1:But one other thing that I noticed that a lot of planners are saying is that they feel like they are and this is pretty standard, because wedding planners are what I like to call the repeat customer we, our job primarily is to outfit a wedding with great wedding professionals, and so our job is to always recommend and refer. So what wedding planners are feeling is okay, all of these people that I am recommending and referring day in and day out. They don't seem to be returning the favor, if you will, and I don't think any wedding planner under any circumstances expects to have the same amount of referrals back, but I think a small percentage at the very least.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 1:I mean, it doesn't take a lot, it's a little bit of something, and so I feel like wedding planners are telling me that it feels like a one-way street. So can you speak to that? I'm sure you've probably experienced that. I know I experienced that as well.
Speaker 2:You know, I think it's because I think wedding pros are assuming they're assuming that their couples already either have a planner or they're not even thinking that they can be a referral source. You know one of my favorite rental companies, which it's Reynolds. So his assumption was well, by the time they get to me, they should already have a planner. And what's happening is they're coming in front of him, they're having this you know this hand-drawn floor plan and they're not knowing what size they need.
Speaker 2:And I was like well, are you asking who their planner is Like when they're coming in here completely blind? Or you're not asking do you have a wedding planner? And he said no. And I said well, start. Yeah, I'm coming here to visit your showroom, you know, three or four times a month because I love working with you. I know you love working with me, so why aren't you asking these couples who are coming in here without a planner who is your wedding planner? Here's my favorite wedding planner and it was the light bulb went off. It was just something that he had never considered. So I'm thinking sometimes these wedding pros are thinking well, you know, I'm the last person they book or they hire, or surely by the time they get to me they have a planner. They might not and don't ask. They say who's your planner and, just like we have our approved vendor list, maybe you also create your own approved vendor list.
Speaker 2:One of my favorite photographers. She is constantly recommending planners because she's been in those situations where it's a cousin or an aunt and she's having to then step up and be the planner and a photographer and that takes away from her doing her job, but she put it in her contract. Now that you have to hire a professional wedding planner, now I'm working with her to make that to certified so that way she, you know, gets someone who she knows even more. That's gonna have her best interests in mind and be great for that client. But I love that that's part of her contract now. So that's Not only isn't in her contract, but now she's asking who's your wedding planner? Here's a list of my favorite wedding planners and I think all wedding pros can do something similar Because, like you said, when you get stuck working with someone who claims to be a professional wedding planner, it's not good for anyone. So let's let's protect you as a pro and allow you to do your job by making sure that you're asking and recommending wedding planners.
Speaker 1:Because, if you think about it too, chrissy, I hear a lot of complaints from photographers and DJs, especially those two categories that say, yeah, when there's not a wedding planner, it all falls on my shoulders. Well, yeah, I can understand that. I can see that that's got to be frustrating. When there's not a planner hired, it all has to fall on someone's shoulders. What what's frustrating to these people is that they have their own job to do, and it doesn't include all the things that I, as a planner, would be doing on any given wedding day, and so I feel terrible when I hear these stories. You know, I want to fix it for them and I can. I can fix it. You know how you can fix it wedding pros you can ask who their wedding planner is so that it tells the couples. Right then, I'm not that person, don't put that on me, you know, is that the couples?
Speaker 2:are just gonna assume well, you're my photographer, you're making the timeline, it's really, you can maintain the timeline. And Photographers who are there aligning people up for the ceremony, they're queuing people to walk down the aisle when they should be in that moment taking the pictures of that person Right on the aisle. I just received an email from one of my favorite wedding photographers, who it's been a while since we've worked together, so I was so glad that we finally got a wedding together. And, and she said in her email I just want to thank you because whenever I work with you, I'm allowed to do my job and be creative. Oh, I love that, because I mean that's a photographer's job is is.
Speaker 1:It is a creative space, right? And when you are also trying to play the logistical part, which is what wedding planners do, we're we're all about the timing and all the logistics coming together on the wedding day. It kind of steals from the creativity that a photographer and a videographer and even an entertainment provider Needs. They have to be in the moment, they have to be in their space and do the job that they were hired for, and I feel like couples take advantage of all of these people. Just because they're already going to be there on the wedding day. They're like, oh, I know someone's going to pick up the slack. Well, hold on, that's not fair and you're going to get maybe you're. The quality of the product that you've paid for is going to be affected by this because you're. You're stretching these wedding professionals so thin so it breaks my heart.
Speaker 2:It does break my heart If we make this a two-way street where I'm recommending you, because that's just part of what I do as a planner. That's my job is to recommend and refer my approved and vetted wedding pros. You do the same, you start recommending a planner, so that way the street is just flowing, there's no congestion, traffic is going well and we're all happy and not angry. What's it called when you're like an angry driver?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, we don't need any of those. We don't need any drivers. What we need is a nice, flowing two-way street. I agree with you, and it's okay to fill a pothole every once in a while, right, like, okay, so this didn't work out, let's let's talk and let's see how we can work this particular situation out for the future.
Speaker 1:But again, there's going to be people that don't mesh really well and it might be personality styles, it might be communication styles, it could be all kinds of things, but Communicates. It all starts with communication. It needs, we need to talk more, we need to have a better understanding and kind of speaking of that. I feel like some wedding planners also are complaining that they are being ghosted by wedding professionals. You know, the wedding is coming up. We're trying to reach out to all the wedding professionals, we're trying to get some questions, answers, so that we can complete our, our detailed timeline that we're going to be sending out to everybody and then, when we're not hearing back from a wedding pro, that's gonna. It's gonna clog up, it's gonna. That causes construction on that new way street right.
Speaker 2:Exactly and and I think, like we mentioned earlier, the pandemic. I think during the pandemic we gave a lot of people grace because we were all drowning together, we were all trying to figure out and pivot and we ended up, you know, overbooking because we were just, you know, rescheduling our postponements and we were all just kind of drowning in that sense. But now the things are starting to get a little bit normal. We're still seeing some of that behavior of taking weeks to respond back to each other and especially to their planner, and I think that goes back to stepping outside of yourself and seeing the full picture.
Speaker 2:You're the some of our questions, especially in regards to the timeline, impacts other wedding pros. I need to know what time you want to do this first thing up to the introductions, because that's gonna impact when my caterers Are going to start feeding the guests. Like everything is such a Intertwined thing with other what people that sometimes your answer is gonna help me answer the questions for five other wedding pros. Right, something is just take a step back of you and answer that email Simple and as just saying got your email, I will respond back to you by this day. But the nothing, then no response at all of just like I'm having to keep following up with you. What's happening, what's going on? Let's chat.
Speaker 1:It affects everybody negatively and I really I get pretty frustrated with this because to me there is absolutely no excuse for the ghosting there. To me, I don't care what could be going on in your life. I mean, I've had my own share of hardships, as you know, chrissy. Nothing has ever prevented me from sending a quick text or a quick email letting someone know that there's a delay. I think, honestly, where it comes from is selfishness. I think people get into a mindset of I Can only think about myself, I can't afford to think about others. It's and really it's the opposite is you can't actually afford to not think about others Because it that eventually is going to come back on you. So if you're in this me, me, me mindset, imagine how all of your me, me, me-ness is going to affect you, know the me in that particular scenario. It's going to affect your business. You're not going to get as many referrals as you once did. You are not going to get as many Great reviews on all of these sites as you once did. So it's going to affect you at some point, is just going to be delayed. So, just as you are delaying all the correspondence that you have with your wedding professionals. You are actually delaying all of the bad Juju that's going to be coming back, I mean to be honest. So the ghosting thing baffles me because I don't see how that benefits anyone. And you know, if you're that busy, then maybe you need to change the structure of your business, because that tells me You're not a very good business person.
Speaker 1:Anytime someone says to me and and of course I would love to get your opinion on this, because I feel pretty passionate about this Anytime someone says, oh, I'm just so, but yeah, I have that out of office responder on and I tell people like I know that 24 hours is the right amount of time, but I can really only get back to you, you know, within a week, like, hold on, if you're that busy, then you are not the business person you are claiming to be. That means you are not structuring your business properly, because in no other circumstance, in no other business, would that be an appropriate way of handling yourself. Can you imagine like you're sicker than a dog and you call the doctor and the message machine says I'm sorry, we can't even take your call right now, we're just so busy. We'll get back to you, just hang in there, hold up.
Speaker 1:What? Imagine calling your surgeon or your dentist and getting that message and you'd be like I thought you were in business, I thought this is what you do, like if you are that busy, high or something. Well, people are thinking the exact same way of you. And so whenever someone says I'm just so busy or yeah, I didn't get back to you because I'm busy, we're all busy.
Speaker 2:I think that goes back to taking a step back and looking outside of yourself. Everyone is busy, everyone, and as soon as you said that you know it's going to take me a week back to get to you, it made me think back to my corporate days, when I worked in banking. I would have been fired. Yes. It took me a week to respond back to a client. I would have been fired. Yes.
Speaker 1:Yes, Well honestly any job.
Speaker 1:I remember back when I had my first job, working as an administrative assistant for a chiropractor's office, and you know my job was to answer phones, return emails. You know, do all this. If I said, listen, it's going to take me a week to do any of these things, I would have been fired on the spot. On the spot. They would have said and you're out. I mean, but for some reason we as wedding planners and wedding photographers and DJs and florists and caterers, we all think that this is okay.
Speaker 1:And then we all question why the general public doesn't take our job as seriously. And you know why do these people get paid so much? Why are their prices this high? You know what? We need to start showing people the level of professionalism, to kind of validate how much we are charging. There's a lot of time, effort, blood, sweat and tears that goes into this wedding industry and we're still not charging enough right. There's probably never going to be a dollar amount where we're like well, I feel like I finally made it. I feel like I'm finally making what I am worth, because it is so difficult. This is a very tough industry to be in, especially long term. I know this because I've been in it for 30 years and it is grueling. And what has made it to where I've stood out a bit from my competition my competitors is I always got compliments of you're Johnny, on the spot.
Speaker 1:You always return our emails. You send out thank you emails after working with us. Your follow up and follow through is not what we're used to. That is the saddest piece of information I've ever heard, because you know just like sometimes, chrissy, you've mentioned in the past, like you hear from wedding professionals oh, like, oh, it's so nice, so what are you? You're actually nice and you're like, or couples were like oh, you're so, so such a nice wedding planner. And you're thinking to yourself you mean, there's wedding planners that are mean we can have a whole podcast about that.
Speaker 2:Yes, but yes, just the basics of, I believe, what's what should be running a business.
Speaker 1:being a kind person who responds back to communication within a timely manner is gone, yeah we have to justify what we're charging, and the way to do that is to act professionally, just as professional as the doctor's office and the dentist and all of you know anybody your counselor's office, I mean Walmart. Okay, so these big superstores? Right, they're open 24 seven. If you got their answering service and it said, yeah, sorry, we're just, we got other things going on, we'll try to get back to you within a week, you'd be like what? We have high expectations for literally everyone else, but we are putting people off. So again, if these wedding professionals are saying what we're busy, or planners are saying we're too busy to even communicate, then there's literally no hope. That's what I feel like. I start losing hope for our industry. You know what, chrissy? We can do better. We can do better and we have to do better in order to keep the integrity of our industry intact. I believe that with all my heart.
Speaker 2:And I love it. This reminds me of a saying that you have Lori and it's. Are you running your business or is your business running you? And if you are running that much where you are taking weeks to respond back to people because generally you're like where am I going to fit the time in to do this, then you need to take a step back and reevaluate how many weddings you're taking. Reevaluate your pricing Do I need to charge more? So that way I cannot have to take 50 weddings a year. What is? Reevaluate and see what that all yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, I mean we have to. We have to make sure that we're auditing ourselves. So, yes, we can make changes. We can start time blocking. We can make sure that we are providing our business with the right tools in order to stay on top of things. And that does not mean automating yourself right out of business. You and I did an entire podcast on that topic alone. What it means is making sure that you're automating in the right places and having those touch points in the right places. We can't do that if your business is the one running you, rather than the other way around, where you are supposed to be running your business.
Speaker 1:You know, I also hear wedding planners talk about where these professionals are saying, oh, you don't really need a planner, I can take care of a lot of these things for you. And then these are the same people that are complaining about how much they have on their plate and how they're so stressed. I'm like, well, of course, if I was a wedding planner and said you know what? I don't really think you need a photographer, because I do have a nice camera and I'm going to be at your wedding anyway. How about this? How about I just snap some pictures while I am there anyway, or you don't really need a DJ because, honestly, if you're just looking for music, let's just throw some Spotify on or what have you Like. That's absurd. That's absurd and I would be fried if people would just completely attack me if I was a wedding planner saying all this nonsense, or if I said, oh, you don't really need a venue because we could just go down to the beach or we could just go to, like, hold on, what, what, where's this mutual?
Speaker 2:respect. It's hurtful and mutual respect. That sums it up perfectly, because I've had that happen with wedding pros. With venues, you're like you don't need a planner. It's so hurtful. And it's also not correct because when I think about venues who, let's say, they have a venue coordinator and I know we've talked about this to different roles and how we all work together, your job is very different than my job. So by you telling the couple they don't need a planner, but yet you're not the one who's going to be reaching out to all their wedding pros to create their timeline. You're not the one who's going to be going with them to the rental provider to pick out their linens and their chairs. You're not the one who's going to be going to the tastings if the catering is going to be offsite caterers. That's what a planner does. So you're setting these couples up for even more stress than what they need because you're telling them that they don't need us and potential failure.
Speaker 1:Honestly, potential failure because they're going to make some massive mistakes that are not going to benefit themselves, their wedding or any of the wedding professionals that they're deciding to hire. It is not going to go well for anybody when they don't have some sort of guidance throughout the planning process to kind of keep them from making these costly mistakes, and so it kind of just breaks my heart and you were talking a little bit about how you feel like you're seeing a decline in that team mentality. Can you speak to that for a little bit?
Speaker 2:And this is something that is so heartbreaking because, like you said, we do have our approved vendor lists and those are some of my favorite people to work with every single weekend. But I love the opportunity to work with new people to add them to my vendor list. So when I get the opportunity, I'm like, okay, like you said, I look up their website, their reviews, everything's great. Now we get to work together. And then, on day of, it is not what I expected. They're not being a team player, they're being almost rude in an aspect. And I'll give you an example where we had a beautiful wedding and it was a lot of details, a lot of details to do with the design, because that was very important to the couple and it was also very important to the mother, the bride, who was footing the bill and who was very involved in planning, because the bride herself didn't live in state. So the bride trusted her mother to help with the design. So we spent a lot of time at the rental company picking out the person who was in the time at the rental company, picking out the perfect linens, picking out the perfect lounge furniture, everything just tied so cohesively together, working with a phenomenal florist who spent hours working on these beautiful arrangements. So because of that, I knew I wanted to make sure that I gave my photographer plenty of time to capture these images, and because I knew it was something that the parents and the couple poured a lot of thought and detail into. So, you know, we communicated with the photographer. This is how much time we have in the space. I can make sure that the room is set up and ready by this time, so that way, that gives you plenty of time to come in and capture these details. Is this timing work for you? The photographer agreed.
Speaker 2:Then we get there on wedding day and I'm like, okay, everything's set, everything's ready to go. And they look at the planner and they say I just need 10 minutes, I'll do it after the ceremony. Oh, okay, well, remember what we discussed before the day how this dedicated time period was gonna work best. Because after the ceremony guests were gonna come in and you know guests start. They like to destroy things and they get mass-pedded everywhere. Let's get a photo of this space in its full glory before guests come in, and it was immediately snapped back. I said it would take me 10 minutes.
Speaker 2:Whew, and this was set in front of the florist as well, who just spent a good 16 hours total. They came in the day before and worked on this installation. They came in, wrapped it up the day of the wedding, did not go to sleep until three o'clock that Friday, saturday morning, and then woke up at seven to get right back to creating these beautiful arrangements and that sweet florist walked away and cried in her car because so much had went into it. That's when you're not being a team player. When and it just took everyone off guard because this was something that was communicated well beforehand it was put in the timeline. We had all worked really hard to make sure the space was set and ready so that way the photographer could come in and capture these images in a timely manner.
Speaker 2:And just to be so dismissed like that was it's hurtful. And in my head I was like it broke my heart for the couple. It broke my heart for that mother of the bride who I know spent a lot of time working on these details. It broke my heart for my planner. It broke my heart for the florist and that goes back to stepping outside of yourselves and in my mindset thought okay, well, maybe the photographer thought no one's gonna print these images off and who's gonna print off? No one's gonna have their reception space printed off in their living room. It's gonna be those family portraits. I get it, but also my mindset is this was a lot of time and effort, and financials contribute into making this space a reality. Every little detail is a reflection of the couple, and even if this is something that's maybe, in your head, not as important as the family portraits, this was still something that I thought should have been captured in the way that we agreed.
Speaker 1:I yeah, because it would be one thing if you had not had the communication leading up to the wedding day and for that photographer to just sort of change things up and to go a different direction on the actual wedding day. That's the kind of wedding pro I'm never gonna work with, ever again. Like that, it's a one and done at that point in time.
Speaker 2:It's a dismissive A dismissive of I said it would take me 10 minutes Like that. And you know me and you know my team on wedding day we are smiling, we are bubbly, we are so happy and excited. That's just who we are. Because we know that we wanna bring in that positivity. So people are looking towards us. So we're always overly positive on wedding day so that way we can impact on how everyone else feels. So that negativity, that energy was in an immediate yep. Never worked with this person again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because how would that benefit us to work? Because there's a lot of talented, amazing photographers out there that actually love and care about their couples and about the entire team, who they would never in a million years poo poo on a florist or poo poo on a couple in or a planner in any way. So of course, I'm gonna gravitate towards the nice people. I'm gonna always wanna work with those people. But there are some wedding pros out there and planners are included in what I'm about to say that think that their poo poo doesn't stink, and I'm sorry to tell everybody but all poo poo stinks. All poo poo is a bad, nasty smell and I am going to avoid poo poo in any way, shape and form. And so if that means that I am going to take that person off my list, my approved vendors list, I mean you can say all these great things. It's a lot of time, does not, until the wedding day where we really see how people truly work. I don't give second chances to wedding professionals. You either step it up, but I'm certainly not going to risk another couple in having a bad experience. I'm not gonna risk that. So that's why, whenever I am working with a new pro. I don't book them for more than two, I only booked them for the one, until I have a chance to actually work with them. That is kind of the trial period that I'm looking for, because you can be great on paper, that does not mean you are great in person, and I need to know that you are living up to all of what you said leading up to this wedding day. So I am sorry that you and the team had to experience something that negative, but I think that overarching thoughts that went into that which is you were saying the team mentality that we are all working for one greater good and that is to execute an amazing wedding day for this couple who has paid a significant amount of money. Now, everybody has a different definition of what significant amounts of money looks like, so I guess my point here is even a couple who only has $10,000 to spend, that might be big, gigantic money to them and we need to appreciate what they're looking for and how we need to disrespect them. Now I may not be able to take your wedding because I would be afraid that if you hired me, you wouldn't be able to afford anyone else, but I could probably sit with you for one hour consultation and give you a lot of really great advice.
Speaker 1:So our job to me as wedding professionals in this industry is to care more about those that we are supposed to serve than caring about ourselves. And I think if and I'm not saying we shouldn't care about ourselves, so please don't get me wrong I'm saying that if our only motivation is us, us, us and not our couples, the people who actually give us a job at the first place If our priority is not on them, we get lost. And I've kind of talked about it in a sense of. I kind of see it as you're swimming in the ocean and the tide takes you out, right, that current takes you out to sea. And now, all of a sudden, these wedding professionals who were not keeping their eye on the prize right, and the prize is our couple, our couples are the ones who are keeping our roofs over our heads, right. So I have a level of respect for engaged couples that I'm hoping that more people have the level of respect for.
Speaker 1:But all of a sudden, you're swept out to sea and you're sinking here underwater. You can't breathe, you are just treading water and all of a sudden, what we're realizing is. You got swept out. You lost track of what it is that was so important, and we need to care more about what our couples are wanting. We need to care about what their why is. We all, as wedding professionals, need to ask a lot more questions. Oh, you want this. Tell me what the reasoning behind this is. And if their reasoning is really just because I think it's cute and you know, is logistically not gonna work, well then we, as wedding professionals, need to help educate those couples. But if it can logistically work and they want it, because it's a very sentimental reason behind it, we all need to work together to find ways to make that happen, just like this mother of the bar that you were just talking about just put so much time and effort into this beautiful design and to say, as a photographer, whatever I know.
Speaker 1:I said I was gonna dedicate all this special time to it, but listen, no, I've changed my mind. It'll only take me 10 minutes. I'm not worried about it. You might be right, but what level of respect are you showing everybody who just poured their entire heart and soul into it? And don't tell me one thing and then do another. That's another huge pet peeve of mine. I can't deal with that, but you said so.
Speaker 1:I take people at their word and I really to me. When you say you're gonna do something, I fully believe you, and then, if you don't, I will never believe you again. I will never trust you again. So I think the glue that keeps a dream team together is trust, trust and understanding. And without trust and without understanding, we are all going to still be octopuses on roller skates and all going in different directions. And I think it is high time that there is a wedding organization, a wedding industry organization, that tries to bring everybody in and go okay, let me help everybody understand what we all do, what we all bring to the table, how we can help each other, how we can love each other and support each other and inspire each other to do better, and not just for each other but for our couples and for our industry at large. We have to do better and we can do better. But we're not going to do better if we are always looking out for ourselves and only for ourselves.
Speaker 2:Wait, that is the recipe for trust Understanding what each of us go through it, being a two-way street, having good communication, treating each other as equals and being a team. Clear All those puzzle pieces. When you put that together, that's gonna create the word trust.
Speaker 1:You're absolutely right. I'm just excited that the CWP Society now has this free membership for all wedding professionals, and so my recommendation is, if you are a wedding planner listening to this podcast, we actually have an invitation you can send out to all your entire list of approved wedding professionals, and a lot of wedding planners are actually making it mandatory, like you have to have this free because it's like no money out of this wedding professionals pocket. Right, you have to have this organization, be a member of this and get this kind of information, and this will tell me that you, in fact, are a team player because you're gonna care about having that continuing ed. It is so, so important, and so a lot of wedding planners are actually making it mandatory. In order to stay on the list, you have to join this organization Because, again, it costs them nothing except for time.
Speaker 2:And all it does is bring all of us together, and, to me, when we're all brought in together, that's when to be where we can really make an impact on this industry, where we're gonna be able to educate the masses, educate our couples, on everything that we do as wedding professionals, and that's all of us wedding professionals. So what better way to get us all together than having some organization and hello, now it's the CWP Society to where, each month, we can get continued education. Each month, we're gonna be able to communicate with one another, talk about our grievances, be able to educate each other Like what a beautiful thing that's gonna be. This is something that I think is really gonna impact the industry in such a positive way, and I feel like our industry needs that. We need to have some positive impact.
Speaker 1:I agree, because it can feel a little caddy at times and we can change that. It doesn't have to be this way. We can enjoy our job and our industry and we can love one another and it can be great. But we have to all work together in order to make that happen, because we can't do it individually and all on our own so well. Thank you, chrissy, for having this discussion, and thank you to all of those who are listening to the Wedding Planner podcast, and if you're not yet a member of the CWP Society, we would love to welcome you into our amazing loving family. You can just go to our website, cwpsocietycom and you can learn how to join. Have a great day, everyone. Music.