Navigating the wedding industry can be a dance of love and logistics, even more so when you're stepping to the rhythm alongside your soulmate. Philip and Laurie pull from thier own experiences to offer a candid look at the synergies and complexities of running a wedding planning business as a married couple. They explore the essential role of communication, the art of compromise, and the profound impact of trust in both thier personal and professional lives. Their journey hasn't just been about creating dream weddings; it's been about weaving the fabric of thier relationship into a stronger, more resilient partnership.
When two people with distinct decision-making styles collaborate, sparks can fly, but so can innovation. We take you behind the scenes of their day-to-day operations, where Laurie's eye for detail complements Philip's drive for efficiency. Through anecdotes and insights, they share the nuances of tailoring communication to foster understanding and align their business strategies. It's not just about working together; it's about growing together, learning to navigate the waters of entrepreneurship without losing sight of the lighthouse that is their relationship.
As they round up their heart-to-heart, they don't shy away from the challenges of keeping the flames of romance burning brightly amidst the demands of their business.
They get personal, sharing how they balance the books and their marriage, from integrating vacations with business trips, to switching off work mode and cherishing their time as empty nesters. What's more, they extend a heartfelt invitation to join the CWP Society, a community where support and collaboration aren't just buzzwords—they're the cornerstone of how they operate. Whether you're a fellow couple in business or a solo wedding planner, this episode is a celebration of love, entrepreneurship, and the magic that ensues when they intersect.
www.cwpsociety.com | info@cwpsociety.com | IG: @cwpsociety | FB: @cwpsociety
Navigating the wedding industry can be a dance of love and logistics, even more so when you're stepping to the rhythm alongside your soulmate. Philip and Laurie pull from thier own experiences to offer a candid look at the synergies and complexities of running a wedding planning business as a married couple. They explore the essential role of communication, the art of compromise, and the profound impact of trust in both thier personal and professional lives. Their journey hasn't just been about creating dream weddings; it's been about weaving the fabric of thier relationship into a stronger, more resilient partnership.
When two people with distinct decision-making styles collaborate, sparks can fly, but so can innovation. We take you behind the scenes of their day-to-day operations, where Laurie's eye for detail complements Philip's drive for efficiency. Through anecdotes and insights, they share the nuances of tailoring communication to foster understanding and align their business strategies. It's not just about working together; it's about growing together, learning to navigate the waters of entrepreneurship without losing sight of the lighthouse that is their relationship.
As they round up their heart-to-heart, they don't shy away from the challenges of keeping the flames of romance burning brightly amidst the demands of their business.
They get personal, sharing how they balance the books and their marriage, from integrating vacations with business trips, to switching off work mode and cherishing their time as empty nesters. What's more, they extend a heartfelt invitation to join the CWP Society, a community where support and collaboration aren't just buzzwords—they're the cornerstone of how they operate. Whether you're a fellow couple in business or a solo wedding planner, this episode is a celebration of love, entrepreneurship, and the magic that ensues when they intersect.
www.cwpsociety.com | info@cwpsociety.com | IG: @cwpsociety | FB: @cwpsociety
Welcome to the Wedding Planner podcast brought to you by the Certified Wedding Planner Society. Welcome to the Wedding Planner podcast. This is our soulmate series and it's brought to you by the CWP Society, where the world's leading wedding certification program and the world's largest membership of certified wedding professionals. My name is Lori Hartwell and I'm the founder and CEO of the CWP Society, and my co-host for this series of the Wedding Planner podcast is my husband and the president of the CWP Society, phillip Hartwell. Hey, phil.
Speaker 2:Hey Lori and hello everyone. Today we're going to be talking about working with your soulmate, so let's get right into it.
Speaker 1:Awesome. So I want to make sure that we're touching on pretty much all aspects of working together, and there are challenges, but there's a lot of fun aspects to it too. There's a lot of things that I just completely appreciate about the fact that we work together and you don't have to go someplace else for work. You're just right here at home with me. But it didn't start out that way. When I started planning weddings and then I started teaching wedding planning and you had a full-time job and I sort of accidentally started pulling towards like you want to work with me, right, Like you know, but I sort of sucked you into the wedding industry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think sucked me in is an exact, perfect way to say it, but yeah, I was in my own thing. Yeah so, and I enjoyed it, but I did, I think, at the start I started and we've talked about this before I started helping you on the weekends and helping you set up and tear down, but then, as time went on, you started to need more and more help.
Speaker 1:From someone I could trust, not just some random person off the street. Right, I just honestly, I think it's any person's dream to be able to work with your soulmate, and I don't think it always goes well. There needs to be some, like you know. Here's a nice roadmap on how it's going to work out and here's what not to do, because if you do these things, it's going to just fall apart. It's going to crumble into pieces.
Speaker 2:That's true. You hear stories about spouses or soulmates that work together and it's great, and sometimes it doesn't go so well. I would have to say that if you were, if I were to talk to my younger self, yeah, thinking about being in the wedding industry back then would have been the farthest thing that I'd ever think about being in Right, but the way it's all worked out.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I love it yeah. I love it.
Speaker 1:I do too. I do too. So let's kind of talk about some tips that some couples who are working together right now whether it's a full time working relationship, or maybe it's a part time thing. Either way, I think all of these tips could really help everybody, kind of motivate people to remember what we're doing all of this for I like it.
Speaker 1:We're kind of I want us to all remember that we're in an industry that is completely centered around love, right? I mean, we are always thinking about these couples, their lives together, how they, what their love story is and we working together, you know, as a couple in this wedding business, we can really kind of feed off of that love that our couples share and get inspiration from that. And just if I think, if we just keep our eyes focused on that always of what this is all centered around, then I think we're keeping our priorities kind of in check.
Speaker 2:It's kind of like an automatic reminder every weekend when we're at someone's wedding. Of course we're working, but then just like when, when? If any of you were before the wedding industry, I know that as a guest at a wedding you know all of us think about the couple who's getting married and the couple who's making this commitment to each other, and it kind of reminds you about your own.
Speaker 1:We all we all usually like get teary at weddings right, because it's like oh my gosh, this is so beautiful.
Speaker 1:Look how pure their love is, and we in the wedding industry need to remember what this is all about and we can share in that. We need to keep that kind of love alive, even though we're doing something that's just running a business. So the first tip that we have is all about communication, and so communicating openly, communicating honestly and just making sure that you are voicing your thoughts and your feelings and opinions, even when there's really difficult conversations to be had. It is really important that we are listening to each other, you know, without judgment, and keeping our communication as clear as possible.
Speaker 2:So soulmates actually have an advantage in this case because, unlike maybe, employees or other people in the industry who may not say what they're thinking as quickly as a soulmate would. I would say don't you think you get the uh? I definitely get pure honesty from you Sometimes I go, oh, and I could actually work on my delivery. I would say yeah. Yeah you're gonna get the. You're gonna get the real answer, sometimes an answer that you don't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because you don't always want a yes person, right, like, and I, I can't respect someone who just wants to give me yes answers all the time. Oh, yeah, you, you know. Oh, I love what you're thinking. Yes, let's go with that idea. I would rather have someone who'd be like, you know, uh, that's nice and everything, but here's the downfall that I see with this because that's devil's advocate.
Speaker 1:I love people that play devil's advocate, mainly because it allows me to see things from a perspective that, of course, I wasn't thinking of at all, and I don't want to reject that either, like I don't want. I think it's important to keep our egos in check when it comes to hearing someone else's ideas. I agree, and I love other people's ideas. I just, I definitely want to make sure that we maybe are also speaking to communication styles. Right, there's the outspoken and direct communication style, there's the thoughtful and analytical communicator, there's the quiet, reserved, and then there's that friendly and unassuming. You fall into friendly and unassuming.
Speaker 2:Oh, I was expecting you to say a fifth one, which is mine.
Speaker 1:The roundabout talk about every detail, and that's the friendly that's the friendly and unassuming yeah, yeah, that's that one, and I fall into that direct type of communication style. So when I'm talking to you, I know that I'm supposed to maybe elaborate a little bit more as to what my why is behind. My idea was, and you like the extra?
Speaker 1:words like a paint, a picture, just yeah yeah, so I do my best there and the way I like to be communicated to because I'm more of that direct and outspoken kind of communication styles I need someone to get right to the point. Tell me the end result. Like I speak in results, not methods, so just tell me what the end result is of your idea and then we can kind of work backwards from there regarding questions that I have on how we would achieve those end results yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 2:I, I we've learned so much through the years, you and I as a couple, yeah, talking about different business things and not really taking it personally when someone disagrees with you, of course. That's the important thing. You can't just take it personally.
Speaker 1:It isn't personal at all because, I you're not always going to like my ideas and I'm not always going to like your ideas but sometimes what you can do is take those two ideas and figure out what a compromise would be in between that, and I feel like if that's your motivation, then, honestly, can you really go wrong?
Speaker 2:no, you can't go wrong.
Speaker 1:No so communication is probably like crazy crazy, yeah.
Speaker 2:And to do that without judgment, to realize that everyone's opinion is is valid and valid and should, isn't really something open to judgment. It's just a different way to see. So all these problems you we run into in business are challenges? I would say, yeah, not really problems, they're just challenges.
Speaker 1:They can all be approached from different angles and that's why it's good to listen to a wide range of of opinions and it goes back to when you are listening to someone else's opinion, um, to make sure that you understand what their motivation is. There you go what's their motivation?
Speaker 1:why are they telling you what they're telling you? They're probably doing so because they love you and they have your best interest at heart, and that's why the conversation is actually taking place. I mean, you and I just had a conversation yesterday about a certain subject, something that I wanted to share with our members, and you said you know, here's another way you might want to look at it. Now you're right with, um, your, your regular employees, or what have you. They may not feel like they can tell you that you might be jumping into something too quickly, or you might be approaching something, um, maybe a little bit wrong, or like, hey, did you think about this before? We're just a little wider.
Speaker 2:Not really wrong, just to a wider perspective.
Speaker 1:Yes, exactly, and so that is kind of the beauty of working with your soulmate is because they feel comfortable being able to say those things and so being able to respect that is a really big deal. I think the next tip is all about compromising. So compromising when you have disagreements, because whenever um going to always agree, we are probably going to disagree, at least maybe 50 of the time. I mean, there's some couples that disagree on literally everything. I'm really grateful you and I are not one of those couples, but it's important to make sure that we're always meeting each other in the middle and again finding out what the intentions are. What is your, why behind what you're suggesting? Um and and again, you're not always going to. I'm not going to always be able to take your ideas, but I don't mind hearing them.
Speaker 2:But again, we have to communicate in each other's styles right, it's true, and I think, for a couple who's committed to each other romantically yes, you and I are right there and like many other people are. Sometimes we get the idea that every idea we have you know, I know I feel this way is fantastic.
Speaker 1:You do think that about your ideas.
Speaker 2:It's the best idea.
Speaker 1:I can't believe no one's ever thought of this idea.
Speaker 2:My ideas, holy cow, you just won't wait. You know you. Just, I just can't wait to share this fantastic thing with you, right? You definitely feel that way Sometimes from my perspective. When I hear when I'm sharing it, I don't understand that actually that's not anything new at all. That's been part of the wedding industry for decades. Yeah, I don't mean to burst your bubble, or anything but this.
Speaker 2:You know this has already been bad, exactly so I think it's important for us as spouses who are maybe helping, or full mates who are helping our significant other who's in the industry. You know, throw the idea out there, that's great. It's good to hear it from an outsider's perspective, right, someone who's not in the industry. But it's also important to know that sometimes your ideas aren't as novel as you think they are.
Speaker 1:It may not be novel, but if you keep your mind open to what that person is saying, you might it might actually spark a new idea, or like a way to compliment that idea. There you go.
Speaker 1:And so that's how I kind of even view education as a whole.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of planners and wedding professionals out there that like, listen, you can't teach anything new.
Speaker 1:I know everything about everything, so there's there's no way that I'm going to learn anything from you, but that's going to. That's a very limiting way of looking at things. So, whether you're communicating with your soulmate on an idea for the business, or you are wanting to you know, or you're sitting through an educational seminar, even if it's on a topic that you think you already know, keep your mind open, because something might spark like, oh my gosh, like and it comes out of nowhere. It's the coolest experience. I love that. When I'm sitting through a webinar thinking that I you know, because I'm an educator in the wedding industry I teach how to do things in the wedding industry as a wedding planner or as a wedding professional, and I still love taking courses and learning things because it's you know, even though I think I know that topic really really well, what it does is I go oh my gosh, I just had a crazy idea and it's. It's maybe completely different than what they're even speaking on, but if you're not open to sparks, then there's no growth.
Speaker 2:That's where creativity comes Absolutely, and I used to think I was a creative at all.
Speaker 1:I'm a very logistical wedding planner but I think, over time, because I've kind of given myself permission to grow in the creative side of things, I have really enjoyed that aspect of it. So when and you're a very you're a much more, I think, mentally creative person than I am, because I'm definitely more on that logistical side like, just tell me what the results are. I'm a results-based person. I'm just, you know, you and I work a little differently and we come out things very differently. What my favorite part about working with you is is that you think. Because you think so differently, it kind of inspires me to think a little bit more on the open side, like not so closed off, like no, this is the way I want it done. Sometimes you're like, well, but what if we did this, this and this? Like okay, let me think on that, let me think, you know, because I have to process things. Sure, but it's it's kind of fascinating to be able to balance each other in that way.
Speaker 2:Well, I think, I think that's what brings us to the next point is is to celebrate your art differences. Like everybody approaches the world, whether it's business or personal, or parenting, or eating, or exercise, or leisure activities, whatever it is, yeah, everyone, you know, has their own perspective. So it's okay to be to appreciate your, your significant others, different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because you don't want to duplicated, you don't want to be in a relationship with a duplicate version of yourself right, because that would be incredibly boring, unless unless you're Phillip right, because, phil, you really like all your ideas. You like all of your thoughts.
Speaker 2:I could have a conversation with your alter ego. Yeah, you really could.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sure, but that that would be a medically diagnosable that's true, you probably would have to speak to a professional about it, but I I think that if we were married to identical versions of ourselves, so maybe someone who has the exact same communication style, the exact same personality traits, it would. It wouldn't have yeah, it wouldn't have a lot of spark, it wouldn't have a lot of interest. It would. It would kind of get a bit mundane.
Speaker 2:These challenges are, I think, what? What forces us, as human beings, to think differently than our kind of our? You know it?
Speaker 1:inspires free being able to be creative. It inspires you to grow mentally and spiritually. It inspires you to think beyond yourself. There you go, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's fun.
Speaker 1:It can be fun, so appreciate each other's differences. It can be hard, though too.
Speaker 2:It's not, it's there's.
Speaker 2:It can be very challenging to actually be presented with the idea that the way you see the world is not the only way you know, it's not the only way that people see the world.
Speaker 2:And and so, for example, in a, in a business thing, like you know, I think I think this is a great way to go, some sort of service that I want to provide for the wedding industry. And then if you were to say, well, that's a great service, but you would want to do it this, this, this, would you know very specific ways? And if it's hard to hear what could be perceived as negative feedback about an idea, right, anybody, it's hard to hear, well, someone else's feedback which could be perceived as negative. But in truth, if you're open to that feedback, if you're open to that, well, maybe you haven't thought about all the factors of that it can actually spark a very creative idea and make your idea 10 times better, even better. Yeah, so it's about being open to the the feedback as not necessarily negative, it's just. The intention is for it to be enhanced, to enhance.
Speaker 1:To enhance it. That's a, that's a much better word to enhance it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I mean there's that old adage that two heads are better than one right and it's just, you know, to be able to have these different perspectives come together and then create something from scratch. That's just a pretty beautiful thing if you allow that to actually happen. But it all goes back to what like you know the communication styles to making sure that you guys are communicating in such a way that the person you're actually speaking to can understand and that can hear. Otherwise, it's going to sometimes fall on deaf ears. If you're only communicating the way that you would want people to communicate with you, it's not gonna be heard the way that you really hope. And I feel like that lesson can be brought into all of your professional relationships with wedding pros. It can be brought into your relationship with all of your clients, because we have to meet people where they are at, and so that's just a really big thing. So appreciating each other's differences, balancing each other out right I think that's a very, very big deal.
Speaker 1:I love it. And supporting each other's individual goals in the business is the next tip. So you know, when you're a partnership and we are working towards the same goal, we have that one big goal at the end. Right, we always, usually every partnership, has an idea of what their end game is and what the ultimate goal is. But there are individual goals that might take place on more of a short-term basis, like, okay, well, this week or this month, I need to get this kind of thing done. This is my goal for this. Or maybe I want to revamp my packages, maybe I want to add this other service, or maybe I need to, you know, completely replace the old and be in with the new. And so we have these goals.
Speaker 1:And when you're talking to your soulmate about these shorter-term goals, to making sure that you are supporting each other's interests and finding a way like, well, how can I help? How can I help within that? Or maybe saying, okay, so I understand that that's your goal. Do you really think you can fit it in? I hear that from you all the time. Sure, do you really think? Because you've got 8,000 things on your plate right now? Do you really think that you have time to do this other big project and I always give myself way more credit like that. I can handle 8 million plus one, things right, but I'm like of course I can multitask, you're like, right. So. But I just wanted to kind of point out, lori, that you just said that you were going to be doing this, this and this, and that's another big one, and so it helps me too to go OK.
Speaker 1:so how about this? How about I try it? If it doesn't work out, I'll let myself off the hook, but you kind of give me that grace, which is very, very nice.
Speaker 2:Well, I try to gently remind you that you can't do everything. Of course, we all want to do everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I might have some overachiever problems.
Speaker 2:Yeah you do have some, some very big vision for the wedding industry as a whole, which I think is fantastic, thank you. And then, so recently, you know you've been doing some revamping with our website and you're the type of person who could spend hours, literally hours, you know contemplating a logo, for example, and all the ins and outs of how thick the line should be and the border and the font.
Speaker 1:It's all important, Phillip.
Speaker 2:Right, whereas I'm more of a kind of a guy with OK, the logo has whatever we want it in it. There's three different options that I'll take. Option number two moving on. So anyway, you can there are a lot of variables. There's a lot more to it.
Speaker 1:I always say. I think it's funny, because I always say to you like, actually, my first option is not to settle, my first option is to go with the very best and to work really hard to get exactly what I want, and then I'm willing to settle if that becomes impossible. Right, so you tend to go ah let me just settle right away, so you and I could actually do approach things in very different ways in business.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I tend to approach things in any. All right, let me get this project done.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:In the fastest way possible. Yes, then I can move on to the next project Right, whereas you. But you skip a lot of steps. That's true.
Speaker 1:And then, and then you're missing some really key details. I'm the detail Gals.
Speaker 2:Well, you're kind of a planner, yeah, so I have to.
Speaker 1:So I like it. I'm programmed to be very detail oriented, so that kind of thing, and noise the living daylights out of me. But it annoys the living daylights out of you that I analyze things a little bit longer than what you think would be outwardly necessary.
Speaker 2:True, and I think, if you look at it from the middle of the highway of continual progress, yes, yeah. And you have the extreme of overanalyzing Right Left. That's kind of a way you can get off the highway.
Speaker 1:You can become paralyzed.
Speaker 2:Right, and then, in the same way, you can speed down the highway too fast, like I would tend to yeah and get into an accident. And get into trouble. So it's a mixture of those two ideas.
Speaker 1:You have to find that balance, and so when you have a partner who is pretty, you are as opposite of me as we could possibly be. In a lot of ways You're an outdoorsy person. I would consider myself very indoorsy. You are a talker. I prefer never to speak, even though I'm a public speaker for a living. Nobody believes me that I'm shy and introverted. Nobody believes me. But can you confirm who your wife is?
Speaker 2:Absolutely, you're 100% introverted, for sure. Yes, thank you, because no one believes me, but that is true that a lot of public speakers are introverts. Oh yeah, sure, sure, but in a crowded room, at a Christmas party, for example, or a holiday party, I feel more comfortable with one-on-one conversations.
Speaker 1:Are you really? I do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100% walk up to a stranger. Hey, what are you all about?
Speaker 1:The idea of me walking up to a stranger is, well, that would just never happen, but it would maybe in a business level, because I have this empathy thing that's kind of built into me at networking meetings, where I know how it feels to be shy. And so, since I'm now a leader in the industry, what I like to do when I am going to networking meetings or when I am out in public when I was out in public all the time I would find that one person who's by themselves and walk up to them and introduce myself to them, because I didn't want them to feel alone.
Speaker 2:You were that person.
Speaker 1:I was that person, so I didn't want them to feel what I used to feel. But at a Christmas party, at a social thing, I just usually just left it up to you. I'm like, ah, phil will talk, enough for all of us.
Speaker 2:Well, yes, I'm happy to do that.
Speaker 1:But to make sure, too, that, going back to supporting each other, making sure that you support each other's goals and your interests, and at least hearing each other out and knowing what each other's why is Because to me that's the only way you can support your soulmate is if you care enough to find out why do they want to do these things? There's nothing worse than your idea being immediately poo pooed without someone saying well, tell me why you want to do that, tell me why that is. And then, of course, again, knowing who you're talking to. If you're talking to a results race person, get right to the point.
Speaker 1:If you're talking to someone who is thoughtful and analytical, give them all of the research data that kind of goes behind that and tell them all that you've learned over the years about you know this percentage and that percentage. That would help. If you're talking to a friendly and unassuming, give them the feeling of why you want to do it, because they understand kind of the heart, kind of behind certain things, rather than just numbered things. And so, again, you just have to know who you're speaking to. So, hopefully, by now, if you are in business with your soulmate, you would know who you're married to or who you are in this long-term relationship.
Speaker 2:Those are four very distinct communication styles.
Speaker 1:I would hope that that you would know who you're married to Exactly, and if you don't?
Speaker 2:it's a good idea to ask.
Speaker 1:I think it is. I think in any good relationship you want to figure out who that person is and how you can meet their needs 100%.
Speaker 2:How will my message get across? How?
Speaker 1:is it being delivered?
Speaker 2:The clearest way.
Speaker 1:Yep, right. Yeah, you want to know because, honestly, if you keep delivering your message with a different communication style than the person you're actually trying to get the message delivered to, you are never going to be on the same page, you are never going to see each other's point of view and it's going to fall on deaf ears. And what we want to make sure that we're doing is really meeting each other's needs. I want to hear your ideas, philip, but you're going to have to communicate with me in the way that I can understand. I know that you want to hear all of my ideas, but I need to communicate with you the way I know, like I need to make sure that I'm communicating those ideas to you in your style so that you can hear it. You're the person who's listening, so you just have to understand that and support that person.
Speaker 1:Another tip is all about building trust. That's kind of like the staple right. That foundation of every single solid relationship is, and you've probably heard the saying if you don't have trust, you have nothing. And so you have to make sure when you are in business with your soulmate, because it's harder it's hard to be in business with your soulmate. It's not easy at all, because there's two aspects to your relationship, and we'll get to the personal one here in just a minute.
Speaker 1:But the business aspect to our relationship has to have trust. I have to trust that you're going to always have our company's best interests at heart. I trust that you always have our members' best interests at heart. You trust that I have our members' best interests at heart, like it's. Without that, though, I don't think this would have worked. I don't think you and I working together would have been as successful as it has been if I didn't trust that you have the same core values as I do, and so building trust with each other to me is probably one of the most important aspects to having this type of relationship and working on a regular basis with your soulmate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's true. I don't know what else I could say about that other than you're right.
Speaker 1:So it's important to be a team. We need to remember that we're always a team, even when we disagree, we're always on the same side. I feel like a lot of times what people do because their egos get kind of caught up in like why you're disagreeing with me that means you're on the opposite side of the theme.
Speaker 1:You must be working against me instead of with me. Well, just because I have a different opinion does not mean that I'm not on your team. It means that I actually want your idea to succeed. But I have to play devil's advocate here, right?
Speaker 2:True.
Speaker 1:And you do the same with me, which is really wonderful. So, being a team, you can't be a team unless you trust each other. If you don't trust each other, you're going to always think that that person has wrong motivations. Exactly, and now you are setting yourself up for complete metafailure.
Speaker 2:Right, if you go into an understanding that the goal is the same. The goal is the success of whatever the organization. In our case, we want to help the wedding industry. Yeah, that's the overall goal. Right, if I assumed that the overall goal was something different than that, yeah, or that you were representing that in a, in a, in a malicious way right Right In a selfish way or something like that. Right, and there's really no way I would be able to get on board with, with what it is, you're doing Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2:But yeah, as a, as a committed couple, yeah, it's easier to assume the best out of someone rather than a.
Speaker 1:It is. But it's also impossible to be in business with someone who you know doesn't have good intentions, who you know is a manipulator, who you know is someone who doesn't have other people's best interests apart.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it would never last long term.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, I think it'd be impossible, and I think your soulmate knows you better than anybody else on the planet Absolutely, I mean. So if you are, you know, in a relationship with someone that you don't trust, who isn't really a team player, who is manipulative, you probably are going to want to reconsider being in business with that person.
Speaker 2:That's true. That's true. I'm not a relationship advice guy, but when in business at least, I know that all business is about relationships, whether it's with your business partner or your customers, it just doesn't work. It's dysfunctional if there's no trust. If there's no trust there.
Speaker 1:That's right. Yeah, because it's impossible to trust someone that you kind of have a feeling you know doesn't have the right motivation. Exactly, yeah, you know, and I love that.
Speaker 1:You know me better than anybody else in this world because you see the back end of everything, don't you? I sure you hear me on every single phone call. You hear me on every video call. You also sit in on the meetings with me and our vice president and you hear what the real motivation is all the time and you know, without me prompting you, what would you say would be the core value of your significant other, your spouse?
Speaker 2:is to bring out the best in other people. Okay, like to help people find their true potential?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I would say, and I think your true core value is always wanting to make sure that we are doing everything as ethically and on board as possible, and I think that's why we get along so well in business is because both of our intentions are aligned. True, you know, and I just love that. I love that you don't mind me not taking advantage of people Like you know what I mean. Like you and I get offered all the time special kickbacks or affiliate fees and referral fees if we send our members and we refuse all of them, refuse them, because it's not about the money.
Speaker 1:That's right and we want to make sure that we're building trust with our members and you're not mad at me for that and that's and I'm just so grateful because I think you know, in some business partnerships there would have been some pushback.
Speaker 2:Well, some people approach business that it's all about the money. That's the only thing that that measures success of a company.
Speaker 1:I like to sleep at night, exactly so you know I really value my sleep. I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if we did things wrong.
Speaker 2:I think that's one thing that you and I have always agreed on is, you know, if you do the right thing, the money takes care of itself 100%.
Speaker 1:It will follow Now. I think the last tip that we might want to cover today is to make sure that you're making time quality time for each other, outside of work hours. This is something we've struggled with through the years.
Speaker 2:I think it's so easy to get caught up in, you know, the day to day of your business, isn't that the truth? And I remember back when we traveled so much for the CWP Society and there were very, there were actually no time where we took a vacation that did not also involve business. I attended because I'm kind of a logistic guy. I'm like all right, if we're going to do a conference, you're not logistical.
Speaker 1:You are a penny saver. It has nothing to do with logistics. I'm the logistical person You're like you know, but it would save us thousands of dollars If we take our vacation right on the heels of you completely doing this huge one week event but I'm exhausted now I can't really appreciate it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree I, looking back I can see where you're coming from. But if I'm buying two plain days to Chicago right for a conference, we're going to be there anyway. Let's plan another week in Chicago for vacation. But it never really works out.
Speaker 1:Well, as an introvert, so I probably would, though for an extrovert okay, because extroverts and introverts we recharge our batteries a little bit differently. Where you kind of get energy from being around people, that energizes you. Well, it exhausts me. And so when, especially when, I'm kind of the main stage person, I'm the one who's on stage for days and days in a row. So after that I am so exhausted I have literally nothing left and to say, let's now go visit family. I'm like, oh man, I am not going to show up well for these lovely people and it's going to be even more draining. And so you and I just approach things so differently, and so you just wouldn't listen, you're like yeah, but you don't understand.
Speaker 1:Larry would say it was my we're already here Like. I know, but I'm not gonna be able to show up properly.
Speaker 2:And I apologize, I'm gonna 100% take responsibility.
Speaker 1:I mean I went with it because you had a point and I can't. I can't argue that logic. It was logistically sound reasoning, so I'm like I can't argue it. I just know what I'm capable of giving.
Speaker 2:That's challenging. So now, although I think what we've learned through the years and what I would advise couples who work together is really cut it off, when business time is over, you've got to cut it. Yeah, you just got to make.
Speaker 1:I think you and I have mastered this now, though over earlier in our marriage and our business, 100% did not master it.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah 100% but now 100% fail Massive fail.
Speaker 1:But now I feel like we have in fact mastered it, because you and I have learned that when it's the end of our business day, when our work hours are up, I clean my desk, you clean your desk, we turn off our computers, you leave your office, I leave mine, and we don't look back.
Speaker 2:Yes, we do not look back. I know last weekend you looked back for just about a half hour, but I'll let you go on that one. But yeah, for the most part we walk away. It was an important assignment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you know. But like, at the end of the day, usually you and I, when we get off work, we immediately start thinking all right, love, what are we going to have for dinner? We make our dinners together. Or if I had a rough one, you're like, just sit down, let me make dinner. I see that you can't even speak in full sentences.
Speaker 1:I'm like I'll praise you, Thank you so much for loving me, and then we'll watch our shows together. We will play video games together. We play cards. I win most of the time what you say.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would have to say, you have some sort of strange advantage with the game.
Speaker 1:Did you win the whole month of October, though I think you won October. Was it November?
Speaker 2:I won one or two months in this whole past year. I think you've won eight or nine and I've won a few.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm sorry about that, I really am.
Speaker 2:It's alright and even if I'm losing, I enjoy it's fun.
Speaker 1:You and I have great conversation. We listen to our favorite music. You even put up with my Christmas thrills that come about a month before everybody else's Christmas carols come, because I start celebrating Christmas. November first, actually, I think you decorated on. I don't like your attitude.
Speaker 2:A day before that, but I'm okay with it.
Speaker 1:I had nothing else going on in Halloween. Why not?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we don't really have kids that come to the house.
Speaker 1:No, we live in the middle of nowhere. This was my fank it was fun to get the decorations started, we kind of get into the Christmas spirit. We're empty nesters now. We literally have nothing else.
Speaker 2:One of the things I enjoy doing with you, though, is baking. I have fun baking. We had it on Thanksgiving. It was the best.
Speaker 1:Thanksgiving ever. We just baked our little tails off. You're outdoorsy, I'm not a fan. I'll be honest, I'm not a fan. I think there was a bug on me and that really upset me. I'm definitely loving nature from a glass room. I love nature from afar, but you and I go down on our property and what we're doing is we're clearing things out, we're making stairs, we're digging into the side of our mountain and to have stairs that go down to our creek.
Speaker 2:It's fun.
Speaker 1:I was surprised at how much I actually enjoyed that.
Speaker 2:As long as nature stays away.
Speaker 1:We don't want the close nature.
Speaker 2:We have had a bear pass through our backyard a few times, lots of bears actually. Don't worry, I'm always keeping an eye out for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't really buy it, but the main thing is to make sure that you are in fact doing things that each other likes to do.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we do the outdoor stuff, sometimes we stay inside Do the video game thing Exactly, and so it's all about that quality time together that has absolutely nothing to do with work. Sometimes, when you bring up work, I'm like I'm sorry, this is the weekend, my office hours is, my office is closed for the day. You know what I mean. Sometimes you have to remind me Like Lori, I'm high it's Saturday evening.
Speaker 2:You gotta turn it off you gotta turn it off.
Speaker 1:So I'll make little notes in my phone of things that I want to make sure that I'm thinking about when I get back into work on a Monday. So maybe that's what would work is just to kind of have an ongoing list of notes in your phone but to really try your best to concentrate on not being distracted when you are in full family mode.
Speaker 2:You know what I do too during the day. When I go to make my lunch, for example. I literally shut it off, like I go out of my way to only concentrate on making my sandwich I can put in my pretzels or whatever now and pairing my drink. And where am I gonna sit? And I sit in a different area.
Speaker 1:Because you have to take a break.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you gotta kind of yeah. You gotta kind of do it in short spurts, because if you don't know when to turn it off, it can burn you out.
Speaker 1:You don't want to be all consumed with work, because, especially when you work with your soulmate, because then what is your relationship? Only now a business relationship, or do we still have the personal thing going? I think that it's really easy to blur these lines.
Speaker 2:Very easy.
Speaker 1:And you and I have fallen into those issues in the past Like, okay, are we just work people or are we actually?
Speaker 2:married. Is there anything left after work? Because?
Speaker 1:we're so exhausted, and so that's why it is so important to shut it down. Set your business down at a certain time every single day, without fail, and never speak of work again until the next day. So you and I now only talked about work during business hours, and it works for us, and now we feel like, okay, there's a distinct difference between our work life and our personal life, and it's just so much more fulfilling it is, and much more relaxing. So that's our definite advice to people.
Speaker 2:I would say it's not always easy, but it is. You can work through it and with a little bit of understanding, a little bit of compassion and a little bit of empathy, working with your soulmate is doable.
Speaker 1:It can be very rewarding Enjoy. But it can be a nightmare if you guys are not on the same page and don't have these like unwritten rules of having that good communication, making time for one another, appreciating each other's differences, building that trust and being a great team, supporting each other's goals and interests and compromising if there's any disagreements. Like those are unwritten rules, but they're kind of like the most important, like backbone. They're the backbone of this thing that you guys are trying to run together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and as a team, give yourself a little grace if you want to steer off the main highway. Just a little bit. We all do it. We all do it, don't beat yourself up over it. Just get back on the highway and keep on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's really good advice. Well, thank you everybody for listening into the Wedding Planner podcast. If you are interested in joining the CWP Society, we are a membership of like-minded wedding professionals who really care about each other. We care about lifting each other up, we care about compromising, we care about collaborating and just helping each other out. So if you would like to join the CWP Society, go ahead and visit our website, cwpsocietycom. Have a great day everyone.