Wedding Planner Pro Files
CWP Society is proud to produce the "Wedding Planner Pro Files" podcast!
Laurie Hartwell & Krisy Thomas, award-winning Master Certified Wedding Planners and Industry Educators from the CWP Society, discuss the real lives of wedding planners and professionals, dispense business tips, and share ways you can elevate yourself and your career in the wedding industry.
Visit the CWP Society website for more information: www.cwpsociety.com
Wedding Planner Pro Files
The Realities of Having a Soulmate as a Wedding Planner: A Behind-the-Scenes Look
Are you a Wedding Planner who has ever wondered how your career affects your soulmate?? Join us, your hosts and married couple, as we reveal the behind-the-scenes reality of living with and loving a wedding planner. My husband Phil and I open up about the challenges we've faced in balancing our personal relationship with the demands of a high-stakes job that requires so much passion and commitment.
Throughout the episode, we discuss a range of topics, from managing clients' expectations and dealing with the perception of being 'control freaks', to the importance of creating a welcoming environment for guests in our home. Phil shares his insights and surprises at the level of involvement wedding planners have with their clients, and how this can sometimes cause friction in our own relationship.
Finally, we dive into the personal side of being a wedding planner, including the dynamics of co-parenting, preventing hurt feeling, and recognizing the signs of burnout. In future episodes, we will even share our experiences of vacationing as and with a wedding planner. Don't miss this heartfelt exploration of the unique challenges and joys that come with having a soulmate who is a wedding planner.
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You're listening to the Wedding Planner Podcast, brought to you by the Certified Wedding Planner Society. We're the world's leading wedding planner certification program and the world's largest membership of certified wedding planners. My name is Laurie Hartwell and I'm the CEO of the Certified Wedding Planner Society, and I'm joined today by my fabulous husband and president of the CWP Society, Philip Hartwell. Phil began his career in the hospitality industry in 1984 with the Walt Disney Company and then he went on to work with the Hilton Hotel Corporation and served as vice president of a national medical supply company, before I stole him away and when he joined me in business back in 2009.
Laurie:Now Phil and I are going to do an entire series on wedding planners and their soulmates, and we're going to be covering a variety of topics, such as how being a wedding planner can affect our personal relationships. We're going to talk about the challenges of working with our soulmate, co-parenting with a wedding planner, and balancing our personal and professional lives. We're going to talk about how to support your soulmate through wedding planner burnout and then some pro tips when vacationing with a wedding planner. Today, we're going to be uncovering what it's like to even have a soulmate as a wedding planner and all that goes into it. So first welcome on in Phil.
Philip:Thanks, Laurie. It's great to be a part of this.
Laurie:So you and I have now been married close to 27 years and I've been a wedding planner ever since you've met me. Can you give me perspective, if we go back in time, you know, I was 20 years old, I'm almost 48 years old right now And I was so curious as to what your perspective was when you first came into our relationship and then discovering all that it entails being married to a wedding planner and someone like me.
Philip:Right, I'd say I knew as much about wedding planning as someone who goes into a restaurant knows about running a restaurant. All I saw was the front end of it. I knew how to order a steak, and I knew that someone brought it to me, and I knew that it tasted really good and there was a lot of work that went into it, and I had no clue what went on behind the scenes.
Laurie:And so you discovered how crazy a wedding planner's life was when you were thrust into this and you had to make some decisions as you were getting to know me. You know marriage is already really challenging, right. And then you add a being married to someone who is in an industry rated number five of the most stressful jobs in America. That has to be something that rubs off on the soulmate of a wedding planner.
Philip:Yeah, I had the advantage of going to my job, a nine to five in the medical world, and I was able to get in my car, go to work, do my time, get back in my car, and as soon as I got in my car and turned my music on, I was on my way home to my wife. That was it. I never thought about work until the next day.
Laurie:You could turn it off.
Philip:Yeah, so I didn't really understand this whole 24 hour, seven day a week, obsession with my job. I had an eight hour a day obsession with my job.
Laurie:Okay, so I'm going to try not to take offense to your term "obsession. Okay, i do think I get what you're saying Enthusiasm, i would say Yeah. I like that better.
Philip:I like the fact that they paid me. I honestly didn't care what it was I did for a living. Like I had no passion for my job at the time. I liked that they paid me. That was it. That's how I saw a job.
Laurie:Your passion was revolved around the pay, not the job itself, whereas with me, you saw that I had a passion for what I was doing. Yeah, not necessarily about how much I was getting paid.
Philip:Right, you cared about your clients, and you cared about their event, and you cared about their vendors. Like on a deep, crazy level.
Laurie:Did you look at that and was like, "why do you care about this? These are not our family members. Did that ever cross your mind?
Philip:It did. You know, I just always thought of a job as a way to gain money, pay the bills and nothing more.
Laurie:Yeah.
Philip:I never was able to relate to the whole, "I have a passion for what I do. I just don't get that.
Laurie:Yeah, I can see how that would be kind of confusing. And the truth is, when I got into the wedding industry, I had no idea that's how I was gonna feel either. I thought I was just gonna be hired to do a job, but I didn't know that I was going to feel so connected with my couples. I was invested. I really found that as I was going through the planning process I got to know them, their family members and all of their friends so well that I felt like I was just as invested in their wedding day as they were. And I think that wedding planners don't even realize when they get into the industry how invested they're actually going to start to feel. And I think that's why sometimes we get carried away with all of our time and energy going towards that, and so I can imagine that it might be hard from a perspective of a soulmate. Did you ever feel neglected at that point?
Philip:Oh, you mean did I ever feel like you were giving it more attention?
Laurie:To my couples.
Philip:I wouldn't say that I ever felt neglected. I thought it was interesting that you cared so much, and I think that's good that you care so much about your clients. I'd say it was a challenge time-wise. A lot of times, absolutely, you know, like when you're like I said, you go to work for eight hours, you come home. A lot of us are fortunate enough to be in a job where we can do that, but I guess you wedding planners and event planners just can't put it down sometimes.
Laurie:And I think that that's why this conversation is so important is. I actually do strongly believe now this is based on being married to you for 27 years, right, and watching you feel certain ways regarding how much time and energy I was putting into the job, and how distracted I was on a regular basis.
Philip:Well, back then it was, it was. You know, we didn't have a child back then, true, so we were just both focused on our careers. Yes, I think it might be, I wouldn't say easier, but I think it is kind of smoother to focus on your career when you're in your 20's. Right, I was barely in my 20s still but I was in my 20s.
Laurie:Yeah, you were almost 30. I was 20. You were 28 when we got married.
Philip:Right, but clearly in my 20s Yeah.
Laurie:Okay, all right. Yeah, you were young. You were young, got it, Okay.
Philip:I was solidly in my 20s.
Laurie:But it's easier to focus on career in that stage of your life. Yeah for real.
Philip:And then, and you need to because you're growing you're making new connections, you're making new contacts.
Laurie:understood it in the beginning? But maybe as time went on and when we had a child and things kind of got further along within our marriage, did you start to feel it?
Philip:Things get real when you have a kid right, yeah, on every level That adds a level of crazy whether it's a kid or a new puppy.
Laurie:Think about that, even new puppies. If I got a new puppy and then I just leave, right, i'm like well, i got to go, i've got work to do.
Philip:Well, if I remember correctly, you did get a puppy. Sebastian loves this name I Sebastian loves Sebastian.
Laurie:So I can see how, regardless of whether or not some people don't want children, some people want children, can't have children, some people have children. It's very important no matter what whether it's an animal or a child or, honestly, if it's just the two people in the relationship forever and ever and ever, it has to kind of take a toll. I'm thinking It does.
Philip:I think it's more about time, and I think it's more about the fact that we learn through the years to categorize our life into sections. And when it's time to work, we work, we focus on work, we talk about work. We don't talk about what's for dinner when we're working. No, you're right, you're right We don't talk about what we're going to do this weekend. We're working.
Laurie:No, that's a good point.
Philip:And then, when we're off for the most part, we're able to turn it off and talk about it personally.
Laurie:Well, and what you're saying is that's the ideal right?
Laurie:No, we didn't. And when you say ", you mean me and I get it. But when a wedding planner is in the middle of his or her busy season, it can really be very challenging because we don't necessarily turn it off.
Laurie:Now, this was a lesson that I learned, but I felt like I learned it a little too late, if you must know. I feel like I really wished that I would have started putting those boundaries into play much earlier in my career, right, so that when my office hours, my official policies, came, let's just say, 5 pm, i really encourage wedding planners today to really turn it off, close that laptop, walk away from all of your files and go spend time with the people that matter to you, and I feel like that's something I did not do early enough.
Philip:Right, And that's okay, though I mean you learned too. I mean it sucks.
Laurie:I can't go back in time, But wouldn't that be neat, though, to get into a time machine and be able to go back and do it the right way.
Philip:Well, while you were learning that lesson, I was also learning the lesson of flexibility, because you do have to keep in mind, as the soulmate of a wedding planner, that these things come in waves. There are busy seasons, they're good for slow seasons. Your soulmates can go through them. So maybe you're gonna plan that family vacation. Maybe go ahead and go out of your way to do it in that slow season.
Laurie:Is your advice to someone who's soulmate as a wedding planner to be patient and flexible? But aren't you also entitled to be able to speak up and say I wanna make sure that we still have some date time, some us time.
Philip:Yeah, i think we're gonna talk about this in a future podcast, but I remember one vacation we went on. I think it was a cruise, yeah, or something back when. Our daughter was very young, and Wi-Fi was a big thing or email was just getting started. It was, I'm talking WAY back, like it was WAY, way back. It was like an ultra deluxe package to have the Wi-Fi connection so you could check your email. This was 20 years ago.
Philip:I mean that was a big deal for you And I'm thinking I just wanna have a, you know.
Laurie:Just give me my Mai Tai.
Philip:Yeah, give me my Mai Tai in the pool, and you understandably had a few big events coming up.
Laurie:I had massive events coming up in the following weeks of us returning back from our impromptu vacation, and so, yeah, i was a bit nervous to just leave all the work behind and not check in and make sure everything was going smoothly.
Philip:Yeah, and I remember at the end of that you said, did you have a good time? I said, yeah, I had a good time, but you were working most of the time. And you could have gone two different ways with that. You could have said, well, you know what My job's important, and blah, blah, blah. But no, you really responded to that and made some adjustments. And we found that balance to where the easiest way to describe it is when you're working, work 100%. And when you're playing, play 100%.
Laurie:I think it's important to make sure that you are keeping in mind that, yes, our job is important as a planner, but so are all the other people in our lives, and I felt like it was a massive challenge balancing it all. And being this ideal wedding planner that my clients have spent thousands of dollars on and because they have expectations of us being on call in many ways, which is why, now that I teach wedding planners across the globe, I really talk about making sure that we have those policies in place so that we can have business hours And if we're going to be out of town, we mentioned that we're gonna be out of town. We've mentioned, okay, if there's a crazy emergency, here's a contact person to contact. That way, we're not feeling as if we are literally the end- all in that situation And if anything goes wrong while I'm on vacay, that the whole world isn't gonna come to a complete stop. Kind of going back to making sure that we, as planners, are cognizant of what our soulmate needs.
Laurie:What if we have any other family members in our home? We need to be making sure that we are taking care of their needs as well, making sure that we are also paying attention to ourselves and giving ourselves what we personally need, and then making sure that we give our clients what they need. And I'm not gonna lie to you, this is challenging. You just feel like you're being pulled in a million different directions And it's overwhelming, and it's scary And I cried a lot the first three or four years of my career, I felt like it got a little bit easier.
Laurie:But as soon as I realized and kind of sensed that you supported me but you were a little disappointed on that cruise, that I worked as much as I did and that you would like for me to make some changes, I felt like I had let you down. And it was really both amazing because I made some great changes, but also like, oh man, i'm a failure, I'm failing at this whole thing, and I just remember how that felt. Right, so it can. This is just yet another reason why I love what I do now, which is passing the baton along to thousands of other wedding planners in the industry, because I share these things with them. And I want to make sure that they know what challenges a lot of wedding planners have gone through and some of the really great changes that we've made, so that we can be better for everybody and better for ourselves.
Philip:Yeah, I think the only way you could have failed in that situation, because I disagree with you, you did not fail, you were just being human and doing what you knew to do. The only way you could have failed is if you had responded to me with anything other than compassion and empathy. If you would have responded with well, this is my job and this is part of it, .
Laurie:Yeah, that would have sucked.
Philip:I wouldn't say that's a total failure, but that's pretty close to I mean, you know there's gotta be some flexibility.
Laurie:And now, another subject I kinda wanna approach with you here is how wedding planners come across. And I'm not saying that they are this, but wedding planners come across as control freaks. What I like to say is enthusiasts. Now you've been married to years, for 27 years do you think I'm a control freak, a control enthusiast?
Philip:No, I actually don't. I wouldn't say that. That was my first impression at the start, though I thought to myself oh boy, we'd have you know, let me just say I'm more of a fly by the seat of my pants kind of guy.
Laurie:Yeah, I can actually back that up. You are definitely a fly by the seat of your pants guy.
Philip:I'm a "get in the car and just kind of wander and wherever we end up, that's where we end up and we'll figure it out right. But you're more of a planner, which is, i guess, why you're in a career here. Yeah, I'm not called a winger. I plan, But I remember my family giving me a hard time. For my goodness, what is this? place cards at the dinner table. What's that Like actually giving us a hard time about?
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; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">I</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="107" data-key="60107 1013. 686" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="108" data-key="60108plan1013. 846" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">,</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="110" data-key="60110 1014. 047" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="111" data-key="60111But1014. 26" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: numeric-spacing: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="113" data-key="60113I1014. 38" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">I</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="114" data-key="60114 1014. 461" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; backdrop-invert:--tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">remember</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="116" data-key="60116 1014. 922" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="117" data-key="60117my1015. 002" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; tw-numeric-figure:--tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="119" data-key="60119family1015. 384" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">family</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="120" data-key="60120 1015. 765" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; backdrop-opacity:; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia:; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">giving</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="122" data-key="60122 1016. 046" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="123" data-key="60123me1016. 086" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: tw-numeric-fraction:; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">a</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="126" data-key="60126 1016. 266" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="127" data-key="60127hard1016. 307" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">hard</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="128" data-key="60128 1016. 507" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: .</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="131" data-key="60131 1016. 728" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="132" data-key="60132For1016. 768" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">For</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="133" data-key="60133 1016. 908" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">goodness</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="137" data-key="60137,1017. 901" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">,</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="138" data-key="60138 1017. 901" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="139" data-key="60139what1018. 262" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: key="60123me1016 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">?</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="145" data-key="60145 1018. 844" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="146" data-key="60146place1018. 944" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">place</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="147" data-key="60147 1019. 305" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="148" data-key="60148cards1019. 365" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">cards</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="149" data-key="60149 1019. 806" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 brightness:--tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">dinner</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="155" data-key="60155 1020. 648" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="156" data-key="60156table1020. 769" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">table</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="157" data-key="60157. 1021. 009" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">.</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="158" data-key="60158 1021. 009" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="159" data-key="60159What's1021. 05" 07c63b49="" --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">Like</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="164" data-key="60164 1022. 142" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="165" data-key="60165actually1022. 283" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">actually</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="166" data-key="60166 1022. 606" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="167" data-key="60167giving1022. 687" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; 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--tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);">?</span><span data-v-07c63b49="" class="transcript-element" data-mindex="60" data-eindex="179" data-key="60179 1023. 899" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,. 5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; background-color: rgb(252, 252, 253);"> </span> Yeah, I got picked on a lot by your family And sometimes with our friends too.
Laurie:Our friends are like oh, lotty- I, look at the place cards . I the know like I am always putting myself this situation of when you're at someone's house for a dinner party and it's time for everybody to go sit down. If there are no place cards, then I have no idea really where I should sit. I don't like to have to ask where would you like me to sit? Right, that's the whole point of place cards.
Philip:Nobody asked there it is. It's all just right there, yeah.
Laurie:I like to make it as easy for the guests and more as comfortable for the guests as possible.
Philip:And actually guests who don't have to question what's next are very comfortable. They are Whether that's an event, yeah, or it's a barbecue at the Hartwell's house.
Laurie:I don't do it for barbecues, why?
Philip:I know how to be casual too, i will say, the first time that we had family over and they were presented with an itinerary for the weekend. It was pretty, pretty fine, because it was a multi-day event. Oh it was. We had waterfalls to visit, that's correct. We had golfing to do. I think there was a dinner somewhere. The queen may have been involved, i'm not sure I don't remember, okay, but it was funny.
Laurie:Yeah.
Philip:But the other funny thing is what you do that I just never understood is. Well, i guess I understand it now, but whoever's coming to visit, you'll find a picture of them and put it in a frame next to their bed, of course, in the guest room, of course.
Laurie:That's a touch I want them to feel at home.
Philip:Yeah, I would never have thought of something like that, but I guess people like it. I like fresh flowers.
Laurie:You need to have a picture in a really beautiful frame next to their bedside so that they feel at home. Maybe they are visiting us without their family or their children. I wanna have a picture of them and their children on their bedside. Sure, i also sure I also like to have a little welcome guest booklet that has all the pertinent information that I think any guest would love to have, like what is the weather gonna be like over the period of time that I'm gonna be staying?
Philip:Well, that was a surprise to me when you did that the first time, and I like that.
Laurie:You did like that.
Philip:Yeah, I'm a weather guy. I like stats So numbers.
Laurie:So it was only the stats that you enjoyed.
Philip:Yeah, but it does make sense. People like to know what to expect.
Laurie:Yeah, and I had the wifi information in there and we had where they could find the towels, and then the iron, the ironing board where they could find additional soaps, conditioners, mouthwash, body wash and things of that nature.
Philip:Alphabetical order Of course.
Laurie:Why wouldn't it be an alphabetical order? So I wanna make sure that people feel comfortable, but you know how that can be perceived. That can be perceived as controlling when it's really just trying to be helpful.
Philip:I remember one time someone asked me who wears the pants in your family. I said we both wear shorts.
Laurie:Yeah, I love that.
Philip:There's no lead, there's no boss.
Laurie:I prefer capris, i don't like the upper parts of my legs, so I'll wear capris.
Philip:I like capris only when I'm on vacation, i guess so.
Laurie:But there's no boss right. It's like we're a team, We're a team, always a team. But wedding planners do come across controlling because we plan everything out. So people a lot of times perceive that as, oh my gosh, they're trying to control every aspect. Do you have a different perspective of that? Can you help the soulmates of a wedding planner kind of see maybe a different perspective? or is it the right perspective to have that we're just control freaks?
Philip:I wouldn't say control freak, i wouldn't say even control, i would say information. You are an information enthusiast Oh, i am Phil, because you've always been. You know, even when you're done with a phone call, because I overhear you all the time. You hang up a phone call and then you're tick, tick, tick, tick on the sending an email, kind of wrapping up what it was. Yeah, and especially since it was a phone call, it's important to kind of wrap that up.
Laurie:I like to have a summary of everything.
Philip:yes, yeah so you often share details that some people might think aren't important.
Laurie:But the truth is they're important. They're important even in a personal situation Like so not in business.
Philip:Absolutely, you're sure. For example, let's say we were planning a vacation to I don't know some place.
Laurie:The.
Philip:Bahamas. let's say There you go. You know, I'd like, i'd kind of like to know ahead of time, you know, is there ATV? Is there?
Laurie:a sailing available?
Philip:Is there scuba diving? Is there snorkeling, right Surfing? What activities are available? And it's kind of nice to have a picture of what you're getting into.
Laurie:Are you saying that there is a benefit of being married to a planner Because they'll plan all this stuff out and give you your options and, you know, say, okay, here are your millions of options pick three.
Philip:Examine not the fun part of planning a vacation right. It is actually So. It's kind of like the same thing with an event, but I wouldn't see it as a negative to plan ahead, right, right, well, it's not a negative to plan ahead, for example, in a case like that, for vacation. So why would it be a negative to plan ahead all the details of the most important day of your life, right Well?
Laurie:yeah, i just met in a personal, like in a soulmate slash wedding planner kind of way. Is it ever offensive? is it ever off-putting? No, no, was it though you, but you're. You're talking now from a you know, a person who's been married Enlightened, non-bachelor. Yeah, and then and then lightened 20 married 27 years.
Philip:So you're asking me what I thought at the start.
Laurie:I think. I think it might help our listeners.
Philip:Yeah, i thought it was a little bit controlling. I'll be honest with you. sure, yeah, i saw it. I saw it as Did you really Not? controlling, but A bit much, a little bit much like I'm kind of a at the time was kind of the person went well, let's go to Costa Rica. Well, what's the do that? we'll figure it out when we get there. Yeah, so.
Laurie:So I was viewed in your eyes just like, wow, she's extra. Just in a way like not a bad extra, but extra, yeah, and I can see that I mean I. now you know I know myself pretty well. I would say I've been in this body for almost 48 years. I can see how it comes across to people who do not share that same type of thing.
Laurie:Like you know people that aren't planners. It can be kind of off-putting, so I don't I actually completely get it. I really do get it. Another thing I kind of want to talk about is wedding planners working as much as they do.
Laurie:I know in the beginning of my career, i and many wedding planners by the way, this is going to apply to many wedding planners at the beginning of their career where they feel like they can't say no to couples and they start booking constantly. So they're booking themselves for all four weekends of a month and they're working back to back. So that means that wedding planners work Monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday well, friday night, then Saturday, then Saturday night, and on Sundays we can't even physically move our bones anymore. So we have that wedding hangover situation. So seven days a week for some new wedding planners who are really just busting it out there, that's a lot of work. Yes, it is. Do you have any advice, as a soulmate of a wedding planner, to newer wedding planners out there, or maybe even veteran wedding planners that are still working that many hours and that many weekends? Do you have any advice of what to maybe have them talk about with their significant others?
Philip:Yeah, I'd say I understand it looks. Some things look good on paper. What do you mean by that? The idea of having four weddings a month looks good on the balance sheet. Oh, i see, but in practicality right it's. You need a break in between.
Laurie:So just for ourselves, or for the, the soulmate too.
Philip:Well, we all get a break in our nine to five people. People who have a nine to five job right, one third of their time is working. Two thirds of their time is doing whatever they want, including sleeping.
Laurie:So personal life Yeah okay.
Philip:So one third work, two thirds rest. Okay, i don't think you.
Laurie:Wedding planners.
Philip:It's the opposite two thirds work, one third, sleeping Right, and that Monday through Friday and work on on Saturday and comatose on Sunday. Yeah, sounds about it. It doesn't sound too appealing, no. So what would my advice be is, if you're starting to notice that your, your soulmate, who's the planner, is getting burned out, try to catch it as early as you can and maybe gently, you know be a support. Of course, yeah, but I could be a support to you on every single wedding if I needed to. But if I wasn't also advising you to slow it down and leave some gaps in between, i wouldn't be doing anything.
Laurie:That's true, but there's also probably a good way to advise that and a bad way to advise that.
Philip:And I think you're about to tell me the best.
Laurie:No, i was hoping you would. I was hoping you would say something.
Philip:No, i'm really good at telling you the bad part of myself. I'm an expert at that. Yeah, i think you're learning. I think the worst way to bring that up would be you never give me enough time, or you know.
Laurie:So accusatory? That's what I'm hearing.
Philip:I'm feeling neglected and you work too much, and all of that.
Laurie:So complaining and accusatory, instead of saying maybe a better way would be.
Philip:You know, let's talk about our schedule. I thought, maybe in a non-accusatory way, right, maybe we could look at our next several months and see how they play out, because I'd like to plan some downtime. I mean, i love that we work and you work and I work, and, but let's plan some downtime.
Laurie:And what if that planner doesn't have any downtime in the next couple months, because wedding planners book themselves out sometimes a month, i mean a year, year and a half in advance. And so I think what I would want to hear from my soulmate is heart, like, hey, you know, i understand and and I actually applaud and honor how much you love your job. I do feel as though you're not spending any time with me. I miss you. Yeah, and I was wondering if there are any adjustments that we could be making for the future so that we can start incorporating some us time.
Philip:Yeah, like, let's fix this problem together, together, not here's my solution. And you're a bad, right partner, right, if you don't go with it. Yeah, exactly, i see the difference. Yeah, i mean.
Laurie:I just think talking with heart and being vulnerable to your soulmate is probably always the better way. It's not called placating. It's not called, you know, pandering or tiptoeing. It's called being sensitive to someone who is addicted to their job or loves their job.
Philip:And I think a great word addiction. I think a lot of us.
Laurie:Yeah, we have problems, yeah, That's what I think we need to always be really self aware, right? Am I addicted to my work? And I think there definitely was a time that I was. I loved my job, and even as the leader of the certified wedding planner society. We have thousands and thousands of members And I am absolutely obsessed I'm gonna go back to our original word there.
Laurie:I am obsessed with my members. I'm obsessed with giving help and kindness and love and support. But I had to make sure that I was keeping myself in check, like okay, but I need to turn this off at some point. I need to make sure that I'm spending quality time with my husband or making sure that I make time for my friends. Like my best friend, crystal, calls me almost every single morning And she and I I schedule that out Like I plan around the fact that I know that she calls me approximately the same time every single day, and so I plan around that for the most part. If I didn't do that, my relationships would start to falter, and so we have to, i think, as wedding planners, be sensitive to the people in our lives.
Philip:Oh, it's about communication too, you know, communicating with your friends Look, i know things might have changed That I'm a wedding planner, especially those who are just getting their business started. I'm not gonna be able to hang out with you, you know.
Laurie:On the week, like Friday nights anymore and stuff like that.
Philip:Yeah, I know we used to go out once a week, but I'm not sure if that's gonna happen anymore.
Laurie:And that's why we're gonna do a podcast on how being a wedding planner can sometimes affect our personal relationships in a negative way, and then maybe some steps on how we can overcome that. And I think what you were saying is great. It's all about communication, communicating these things in advance so that people don't have expectations that may not be achievable.
Philip:Or people feel comfortable enough to bring it up when you're not meeting their expectations. then you come to a compromise. That's okay too, It is. Yeah, it is.
Laurie:That's great, that's great, so I'm really looking forward to a lot of these conversations. We're gonna be talking about the personal relationship aspect. We're gonna be talking about when wedding planners bring on their soulmate as either a partner or someone to assist them on wedding day or what have you. We're gonna be talking about co-parenting And because, again, it comes down to those schedules right And how challenging that can be, i would also even like to kind of talk to some of the things that my daughter has shared with me over the years. Our daughter is gonna be 24 soon And she has shared some things with me as okay, this is what it felt like to be the daughter of a wedding planner, and I think sharing some of that information would be really, really helpful so that we can maybe prevent other hurt feelings of other wedding planners with their children.
Laurie:We're gonna be talking about how to balance time between the love of our job and the love of our soulmate. We're gonna be talking about how a soulmate can actually support that the wedding planner through burnout Cause. Burnout's real, that is a real thing, and so some of the things that you had brought up in our pre-podcast meeting was recognizing the signs of what burnout looks like, and I think that we're gonna be talking about that, because the truth is, a wedding planner who's going through it does not always see it. Because we're in it, we're in the fire.
Laurie:We can't see past that. We're gonna be talking about a suggestion that you have for wedding planners to maybe have and schedule family meetings, and what that can look like. We're also gonna be talking about what it's like to vacation with a wedding planner and what it's like to vacation as a wedding planner. So I feel like we have a lot of really great topics that we're gonna be talking about.
Philip:We do, I'm. Music.