Wedding Planner Pro Files
CWP Society is proud to produce the "Wedding Planner Pro Files" podcast!
Laurie Hartwell & Krisy Thomas, award-winning Master Certified Wedding Planners and Industry Educators from the CWP Society, discuss the real lives of wedding planners and professionals, dispense business tips, and share ways you can elevate yourself and your career in the wedding industry.
Visit the CWP Society website for more information: www.cwpsociety.com
Wedding Planner Pro Files
Beyond The Trends: Pitfalls of Trends Preventing Pros from Curating Weddings That Reflect Our Couple's Love Story
Are wedding trends pressuring you into creating a celebration for your couples that feels more like a fad than a reflection of their love story? Fear not, for Krisy Thomas and Laurie Hartwell have joined forces to guide you through the maze of wedding industry "do's and don'ts," unleashing the secrets curating a day that's unmistakably designed to reflect your client. Tune in as we unravel the often-overlooked reality that the pursuit of trendiness can eclipse personal touches, leading to carbon-copy ceremonies devoid of individuality. We'll share how we champion the unique narratives of every couple, transforming their most cherished memories into occasions that resonate long after the last dance.
Let go of the cookie-cutter, and embrace the authentic as we reveal the magic behind tailoring nuptial celebrations to the couple's essence, regardless of what the trendsetters say. As wedding professionals, we'll reflect on the triumph of realizing our clients' visions over chasing online accolades. Join us, and be part of the CWP Society, where the heart of the wedding industry beats to the rhythm of love and dedication.
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You're listening to the Wedding Pro Podcast brought to you by the CWP Society. Welcome to the Wedding Pro Podcast brought to you by the CWP Society, where wedding planners and pros collaborate to raise the standards in the wedding industry. Cwp Society is also the world's largest membership of wedding professionals and the leading wedding planner certification program. My name is Laurie Hartwell and I'm the CEO, and I'm joined by my fabulous Vice President, chrissy Thomas, also the owner of Southern Sparkle weddings. Hey, chrissy.
Speaker 2:Hi, laurie, and hello to all of our wonderful listeners. Today we will be discussing the pitfalls of wedding trends. Now I'm sure many of you are reading the articles and viewing the reels and TikToks that are all about what's in and what's out for the upcoming wedding season. While trends can provide inspiration, as wedding planners and wedding pros, the focus on wedding should be creating a celebration that feels true to our couples. It's easy to get swept up in what's in, but what I'm finding is we are unintentionally diminishing how engaged couples are feeling about their own personal visions for their big day and, in the turn, I feel like it's actually hurting our industry. I love your insights on how you feel about these what's in and what's out TikToks and reels and articles that I'm seeing all over my social media and news feeds.
Speaker 1:I guess my immediate reaction to it is I notice a lot of negativity and I notice a lot of shaming of couples and when I see that, I just feel really sad and for people that are just now kind of afraid to even tell people or share with people what it is that they're even wanting for their big day, because they're not sure how other people are going to respond, and I just don't think that that's really the impression that wedding professionals and wedding planners should be providing to our potential couples.
Speaker 2:You know, I think what's happening is, as wedding pros, we are part of weddings almost every single weekend, so we're seeing some of the same things over and over and over again and in our head we're like gosh, I'm so tired of seeing this, I'm so tired of creating this. But what we're not considering is, you know, the couples who book us, the new couples who are getting married soon. This is the first time that they've probably experienced it. So while we're putting our I'm tired of doing this vibes out there, it's we're putting something out there where they're excited about it and by us being quote tired of it and thinking this is a trend that should be out, in turn, it's making other people couples feel less than because they were actually initially excited about this trend. So I think that's what we're unintentionally doing when we share these what's in and what's out post.
Speaker 1:I agree, and we have to remember that they were inspired by that, and there's no reason why wedding planners can't help a couple take that idea and maybe modernize it a little bit, right, but to say, well, that's out, we just don't do that anymore. What you're essentially doing is telling someone that their wedding dreams or their taste is just not good enough, and I don't think that that's the impression and the message that we should be sending to couples today.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and I love that you mentioned that the whole point of trends is to inspire couples and to put their own unique twist on it. Like my ultimate goal as a wedding planner is for when their guests walk into the space, I want them to feel like, oh, this is so them, this is such a reflection of them and their story. That's the ultimate goal. So maybe their ultimate story is a trend that's out. I had a couple who they were 70s boho disco loving couple Like that was them and you know the trend.
Speaker 2:For a while there were the disco balls and they were like oh, is this something that's out? Now I see everyone's doing it and I'm like this is so y'all. Like this makes sense for you guys, so I don't care if it's out, let's bring a, let's tie in a way to include this in your design, because this is a reflection of the two of you and that should be. Everyone's goal whenever we're discussing trends is making sure that the vision that we're showcasing to our couples is a reflection of them, even if it's something that's quote unquote out and who used to determine what's out?
Speaker 1:You know, I guess that's my next thought is you know, just because and you kind of test on this a little bit earlier just because we've seen it a million times does that deem it out automatically? And I just think that we need to maybe reevaluate what that is. I mean, I understand things being out that you know isn't quite. It doesn't have much of a modern feel to it or does not seem like today's trend. But we can take older things, change it, tweak it, modernize it just a little bit, and now it's almost kind of a brand new take on that old trend, and I think that that's more of the perspective that we, as professionals, need to be taking, rather than saying, oh, please, we just don't do that anymore, or you like those colors together, I'm like, what are you doing? Why are you talking like this to people? And we wonder why sometimes we all get, you know, the reputation of being stuffy, pompous and things of that nature is because a lot of people are actually talking down to couples and poo-pooing all over what they want, and so what I think we need to do is we need to change our perspective and change our messaging and know that when a couple comes to us and they say, well, this is what we were thinking, or this is the color scheme, or this is the decor we were wanting, don't poo-ee all over it. Yet what you need to do is find out more information about that couple, find out what their why is, see how you can start making suggestions to modernize that idea. That would be the best way to do that.
Speaker 1:One of my immediate thoughts is you know, like overlays back in the 1980s. Well gosh, we could go way back. The overlay that did not go all the way to the floor, it was just like you know. It would go down by maybe 15, 20 inches. That's an older trend. That doesn't mean that we should just eliminate overall overlays completely. What it means is oh, how can we modernize this overlay trend? Well, let's make it floor length, let's find gorgeous overlays and have it go all the way to the floor. That's a nice modern take on it.
Speaker 2:So there's ways to make that happen.
Speaker 2:And I think you're right. It's our messaging about these trends, like, like you said, some of these things we do have to update and we do have to educate couples on. Okay, this is not in anymore and here's why. But our messaging is coming across in a way where we're not actually educating. In fact, we're putting people down. And, as wedding professionals, our job is mainly to educate couples because, let's be honest, they don't know what they're doing. They've never planned the events to this scale. So it's up to us to educate them in the proper ways of what's out not necessarily what's you know, what's out regarding, like, their style, but a way that why this doesn't work now because of the modern times, but we're doing it in a way that's not kind, that's not being graceful, that's almost being rude and like. Instead, there's a way to educate couples on Well, this is why we don't do this trend. But here's an alternative.
Speaker 2:Yes, I think what's happening with these out trends that I'm seeing is we're not providing them an alternative of like. This is why we don't do that. And, honestly, another problem I'm seeing too, is they're kind of contradicting. I'll read one article that will say Bose are out. Then the next article, bose are in. I'm sorry If I'm confused, and I'm in this industry. How can couples not? How are they not just like what's happening? I want my wedding to be trendy, but y'all are telling me all these other different things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what I would love to see, Chrissy, is all of those was in, was out, things just completely disappear from social media. All of the articles that you find every December and January that says this is in, this is out, and how they contradict each other. They constantly contradict one another. We need to stop all of that. I like your idea. I say ways to modernize old trends, or here's some things that you might want to think about to. You know, bring this trend to or personalize this trend more toward you, Because all of these other things are like oh, this is out, this is, this is terrible. You're shaming someone.
Speaker 1:Now there are some things that don't logistically work right, Chrissy. Like, right off the top of my head, I'm thinking the old style head tables. So whenever I had a couple that would come to me and say, yeah, and then you know where should we put the head table, I wouldn't say head table. Are you kidding me? What are you thinking? That's just girl, we don't do that anymore, I don't talk like that.
Speaker 1:I would say, oh well, you know I have such a great idea for you because, as time has gone by, we have found a way to really take the head table and make it actually work within the space and for the people that are going to be sitting at that table.
Speaker 1:So, instead of everybody just sitting on one side of a table and staring at everybody else at the, you know, at the guests, we do this instead. So that's when I just described the estate table, also known as the King's table, or I give them alternatives like sweetheart table or actually having a private dining experience in a completely separate room. That's just the couple, since they really haven't had any alone time the entire wedding day. So you know, there's ways to discuss something that you know could be done better and that or a trend that you just know that we absolutely don't do anymore like head tables, and switch it up just a little bit. So if you put a fancy bow and serve it on a silver platter these new ideas they're going to be received a lot better rather than a negative comment to their idea so we just need to be more careful.
Speaker 2:And what I love about this story is the way that you're presenting this is you're giving them that alternative, but you're also not dismissing them outright. That's what's happening is, we are dismissing our couples and their visions outright, versus providing them with the solution and why we should be doing it this way versus the other way. So I just think it's for us as wedding pros, we just need to be aware of how we're coming across when we're sharing these posts and when we're creating these posts and making sure that we're keeping our couples and their experiences and their feelings honestly at the forefront of our minds when we're creating and sharing these type of posts. Because I even did a post where I was like here are my top trends for 2024. And it was like a click and bait and the bait was I don't care, I want your wedding days to be a reflection of your story.
Speaker 2:So what do you guys like? What do you want to do? Even things that aren't necessarily trendy. You have a couple who they don't like wedding cake. They're like we got to have cake at our wedding. No, you don't, let's have dessert. We actually like ice cream. Okay, let's talk to the cater and see how we can serve ice cream.
Speaker 2:Those are those ways where you can incorporate these fun trends, but not getting rid of the fact that your couple is the forefront of the story of their wedding day and how you want their wedding day to look, how you want their wedding day to feel. It's all about your couples and, as wedding pros, we should be asking the right questions. We should be asking about what do you guys do for date night? We should be asking about what's your favorite personal style? Who's your favorite designer those type of questions so that way we can really curate and create a design and a feel that's a reflection of our couples. That's my favorite part of my job. Honestly, I love being able to create an experience that's a true reflection of my couples, and you can't do that if you're so focused on only doing weddings that are trendy and only booking couples who want to do the trends, even if the trends make absolutely no sense for them.
Speaker 1:I agree it needs to be more personalized. We have to remember that just because we're in the wedding industry and we do this on a regular basis does not give us the right to guide couples down a path of that doesn't suit them and that wasn't meant for them. And I think that wedding planners and wedding professionals tend to put too much weight on trends, color schemes, what's in, what's out, without looking deeper. And without going deeper, what is the point of what it is that we do? I can take whatever couples throw at me and I'll find a way to make it beautiful. Chrissy, I can promise you that I will find a way to make it as beautiful as I can, and it won't matter what their budget is. It won't matter what crazy colors they're throwing at me.
Speaker 1:I had a couple that was very golf uh, wanted to get married on Halloween. Oh, I love that. Yeah, I know you would. I was like gosh, my new Chrissy back then. Oh my, we would have had a blast planning that wedding. But I was really listening to them and the truth is they didn't want something gory, they didn't want something ridiculous. I found a way to make it absolutely divine, and that is just by truly listening to what your couples are wanting and stop making assumptions and then immediately deterring them from what they were kind of wanting to have. My job is to say well, tell me what you like, tell me why you like it, what, how can we incorporate this? Okay, well, you know, I'm going to give you a bunch of ideas based off of everything I've heard, and let's kind of narrow it down the direction in which we're going to go with this particular design. That is what made it so special and, um, you know, I don't feel like everybody does that.
Speaker 2:I think because that we may need to, as wedding pros, kind of do some self reflection. Are we wanting to do these trends and are we pushing these trends in our couples because we're wanting to appear some sort of way on social media? Are we wanting to get picked up by a blog or publication that's focusing on this trend? Versus are we really doing what's best for our couples? And I think that requires some looking inward and saying why am I? Why am I pushing this If this doesn't make for sense for them? Is this self serving? Is this why I want to do these trends and I'm able to these certain style of clients is because I want to have this cloud and be published and have all these follows and likes on Instagram. Is that the reason why, versus I'm just doing this? What's best for my clients?
Speaker 1:You know and I hear this all the time, Chrissy about wedding planners and wedding professionals being so solely focused on getting published, and I just kind of doubt that wedding planners and professionals got into this wedding industry as a whole because that was their main focus. I think they probably got into the industry because they love couples. They love, uh, you know, being a part of one of the most spectacular days of a couple's life. It's the, the party, a celebration of their love. That's most likely what brought us and attracted us to this industry. But all of a sudden, the ego starts taking hold of people and it just, I feel like it turns some people into someone they're not. And it's more, all of a sudden, like grandiose, like look at me, look at me, I'm like what are you doing?
Speaker 2:What are you doing? It's ego and it's also comparison. So we're looking and on our feet, because we're, you know, in the wedding industry. We're following all of these blogs and these accounts and we're seeing all of these over the top or all these trendy weddings, and we're thinking, oh gosh, none of my weddings look like that. So I need to book couples who want to do this or influence my couples to change up their wedding design so my weddings can look like this. And it's that comparison game too, I think, is that we're struggling with.
Speaker 1:You're probably right about that. Honestly and I feel like a lot of wedding planners have almost made that their second job right is to compare themselves to everybody else, and one of the things I've heard you say and one of the things that you know to wedding planners and one of the things that I try to advise our wedding planners and wedding professionals to not do is don't compare someone's chapter 20 to your chapter five, or you know, but also not everybody's a hunt. You know, what you see on social media is not 100% accurate either, is it yeah?
Speaker 2:I mean that's social media is the best of the best. It's it's you're only posting your best work, you're most you know. You're not posting and sharing your struggles on social media, you're just not and you're not sharing those weddings that you're like, not like.
Speaker 1:Hmm, you know I love that couple, but that wasn't the prettiest wedding that has ever been produced in my life, because maybe it was a budget issue, maybe it was a taste issue. There's a lot that we don't see from people on social media, so I want those who are listening to realize that we probably have more in common than we don't, and so that means that other people are experiencing the same things we're experiencing. It's very rare that you find a wedding professional out there that's just winning on every single level. Right, it's very, very rare. We all have our struggles. We all have couples that we're probably, you know, we love to take, but we probably wouldn't be throwing all of their pictures out there on social media because it wasn't the most attractive, you know, look that we ever came across.
Speaker 1:But we do need to make sure that we remember what our real motivation is, and the motivation should not be to be seen. The real motivation needs to be to please, and to please who? Ourselves, our ego? No, the publishing companies, absolutely not. It's our couples. We need to be pleasing our couples. We need to be doing what's right by our couples. We need to make sure that we are listening to our couples. They are the ones who pay our bills and not the publishing companies, right? Not social media. I've never gotten paid by Twitter. I've never gotten paid by Instagram or Facebook or Pinterest. So I want us to remember who we should be motivated by, and that should be the people that pay us and put our roofs over our heads and take them more seriously and guide them. Don't demand, don't shame. Guide, because the couples are coming to us.
Speaker 1:We're the professionals and they're saying here's what I'm thinking. They're not saying I have to have this, do not modify any of it. They're saying this is what I'm thinking, this is kind of what my vision is. It's our job to take that and really enhance it and make it the greatest it could possibly be, not to completely wipe it clean and say I'm sorry, your ideas suck and I don't want to have anything to do with that color scheme or that decor. Now let's figure out alternatives. So, instead of doing articles and social media posts on what's out and what's the new trends, offer alternatives. For instance, the overlay alternative. Instead of it being 20 inches down, make it floor length. Instead of a head table. Do a state tables. Instead of one single mirrored tile in the middle of a table, make the entire tabletop a mirror. There's millions of things that we can do to add alternatives and more inspirational ideas, rather than to just dismiss someone's thoughts and ideas.
Speaker 2:And it's so funny when you think about you, go back to your wife, which should be your couples, but sometimes throughout our journey, is wedding pros. That shifts to those publishers or social media. What you mentioned is you know they provide, there are clients, are the ones who pay our bills. Our clients are also the ones who are referring to business. Yes, you are focusing on your clients and their overall experience. That's going to bring you referrals time and time again, and this is coming from someone who has been featured in numerous publications, as we've had some really stunning weddings, some beautiful love stories that have been shared.
Speaker 2:But I, out of my entire career, I have had one booking from someone who saw me in Martha's Dural Weddings. One. 90%, 95%, honestly of my business comes from the referrals of my fellow wedding pros as well as my couples, who are recommending me time and time again. So your shift of focusing back on your couples is going to help you keep getting business. Not that wonderful feature that you have in that publication that's going to look great on your website. That's going to give you a couple of days of traction on social media. That's not going to continue to bring you business. No, it's just not.
Speaker 1:And I think that that's the realization that a lot of planners and a lot of wedding pros need to be aware of, and if we keep that in the forefront of our mind, I think we can win. I think that we can overcome all of the comparison games and overcome the ego and stop the shame, stop shitting people for having thoughts and ideas or being inspired or something we did last year or five years ago. Let them be inspired by that. That's the goal, and then just guide your clients to the right location, to their journey, to their destination, not our destination. These weddings have nothing to do with us. We are more of a conduit, if you will, to take where they're, you know, in the beginning stages their ideas and actually bring those ideas and make them into a really beautiful reality, and one more beautiful, more spectacular than they had ever imagined. That's the coolest experience when a couple walks into a room and we're showing them the wedding had now come to life. They're faces, they're reaction.
Speaker 2:Oh, my eyes are literally watering because just being in that moment, because I that moment, oh my gosh, it gives you such a high. Who needs drugs as a wedding professional when you get that feeling right there from your couples, I have skills just thinking about it and that's job well done. That means that I put my clients first, not what was trending Exactly.
Speaker 1:So, for those of you who are listening, definitely keep those couples at the forefront of your mind. Don't focus so much on the trends. Guide them, inspire them more. That's what you should be doing. So thank you all for listening to the Wedding Pro Podcast. If you're not yet a member of the CWP Society, we would love to welcome you into our amazing and loving family.
Speaker 2:Simply go to our website.
Speaker 1:CWPSocietycom and learn how you can join for free today.
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